Re: Addicted to hurting

Re: Addicted to hurting momuv3: I agree with you to a point. I know there are people out there that are just generally unhappy. Something is always wrong either physically, mentally or in the circumstances of their life. Something is always wrong. I think each person is different and if there are patterns, then maybe thats true. If they are generally a happy person who was dealt some crappy cards then thats the way for some people and hopefully its just a temporary thing. On this board, we deal with broken marriages, broken homes, failed relationships that we have sunk our heart and soul in and often times been blindsided by it all. There is anger, grief, depression, guilt, sadness, lonliness and a host of other feelings to be worked through. I hit highs and lows and it changes from minute to minute it seems. And my lows get pretty low.

I know in my case my stbxh was a unhappy person in life. He is always a victim and life has been unfair to him in his mind. He's a runner that will never be happy with himself so he gets in relationships and then is not happy again and pops pills and inflicts pain on others and runs for the hills once again. So, I know what you are talking about.

I am really hoping that what I am going through is just a temporary thing and I will get back to being a happy person again soon.
Re: Addicted to hurting newts: Totally agree, when I hurt or I don't feel comfortable in my environment I change it! Nobody is worth insecurities, pain, suffering and dis-respect for more than a few months.

I have my own saying and when I am feeling bad, want something positive to happen, down or I am in an uncomfortable environment I say "My life will be as I want it to be, as long as it is good for me". Works for me.

Re: Addicted to hurting Feel: [quote author=newts link=topic=33543.msg347251#msg347251 date=1156343649">
Totally agree, when I hurt or I don't feel comfortable in my environment I change it! Nobody is worth insecurities, pain, suffering and dis-respect for more than a few months.

I have my own saying and when I am feeling bad, want something positive to happen, down or I am in an uncomfortable environment I say "My life will be as I want it to be, as long as it is good for me". Works for me.
[/quote"> [quote author=momuv3 link=topic=33543.msg347250#msg347250 date=1156343598">
I agree with you to a point. I know there are people out there that are just generally unhappy. Something is always wrong either physically, mentally or in the circumstances of their life. Something is always wrong. I think each person is different and if there are patterns, then maybe thats true. If they are generally a happy person who was dealt some crappy cards then thats the way for some people and hopefully its just a temporary thing. On this board, we deal with broken marriages, broken homes, failed relationships that we have sunk our heart and soul in and often times been blindsided by it all. There is anger, grief, depression, guilt, sadness, lonliness and a host of other feelings to be worked through. I hit highs and lows and it changes from minute to minute it seems. And my lows get pretty low.

I know in my case my stbxh was a unhappy person in life. He is always a victim and life has been unfair to him in his mind. He's a runner that will never be happy with himself so he gets in relationships and then is not happy again and pops pills and inflicts pain on others and runs for the hills once again. So, I know what you are talking about.

I am really hoping that what I am going through is just a temporary thing and I will get back to being a happy person again soon.
[/quote">

I am healthy, I am vibrant, I am a good looking woman, I am smart along with the street smart...

But I was dealt a crappy hand... which affected me in ways I never thought... my parents wanted me to go back to him, because he was the father of my child... but I had to not go to seek advice from the negatives anymore and thats when I found ojar... and hear is where I started my healing process but is taking a lot longer than I thought!

Re: Addicted to hurting newts: [quote"> I am healthy, I am vibrant, I am a good looking woman, I am smart along with the street smart...

But I was dealt a crappy hand... which affected me in ways I never thought... my parents wanted me to go back to him, because he was the father of my child... but I had to not go to seek advice from the negatives anymore and thats when I found ojar... and hear is where I started my healing process but is taking a lot longer than I thought![/quote">

Feel, your life is what you make of it and if you let your friends, family or anybody else close to you let make decisions on your behalf or influence you, well then again it's the mistakes that you have made and if you listen to anybody other than yourself you are you are your own worst enemy.

I too am good looking, successful, intelligent - however, I make my decisions, nobody could influence me, they can advise, however, it's my life not theirs, anybody that encourages you back into an unhealthy relationship needs there head read and they are not very sound influences in your life.

Just remember, looks fade and intelligence and your decision making skills wont if you don't allow them - remember, you are the only master of your domain - don't blame anybody else for your decisons except for you.

Everybody is dealt with a bad hand - it's up to us to make it into a winning hand.

Re: Addicted to hurting confused101: I know back in the day I would start to feel better and then I would almost look for something to fret about because without the weight of the pain, anger or hurt that I carried it took me out of what I had learned to be my comfort zone.

Now my comfort zone has shifted to where if anything hurts at all I want it out as soon as possible, and I feel good about not carrying any burdens. It wasn't that way for a long time though.

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