Anyone else been with an ALCOHOLIC?? sadconfused4: I have been looking for a book or something that lists all the common characteristics of being with an alcoholic....everyone who has written me has been SO great....why is it when we're going through a break-up we need to hear the same thing over and over? Have the same reassurances?
My X was SOOOO functional. I could never really even tell he was drunk-- it just made him less anxious and more outgoing and relaxed when he drank. He has expressed the desire to quit...he wanted to get better....but then we just broke up instead. It's hard when you've planned your life with someone. :(
I am getting better every day. I know it takes time....I just can't help thinking that if I had done x y and z differently...maybe he would have been ok. OR maybe the drinking really wasn't that big of an issue, you know? I felt a bit LONELY sometimes in the relationship, but I didn't really feel effected by the drinking, you know? He wasn't pass-out-pee-your-pants drunk ever.
I'm sad. Help!!! :(
Re: Anyone else been with an ALCOHOLIC?? CDNgurl: I'm sure someone has already mentioned this to you... but Al-Anon is an excellent resource.
Re: Anyone else been with an ALCOHOLIC?? jannette Garcia: I think drinking is a huge issue! There are diseases that are caused by drinking. Imagine your future with someone with a horrible disease caused by drinking. That's just unnecesary pain. You'll find someone better!
Re: Anyone else been with an ALCOHOLIC?? Freckles: [quote author=sadconfused4 link=topic=33545.msg347335#msg347335 date=1156349615">
I have been looking for a book or something that lists all the common characteristics of being with an alcoholic....everyone who has written me has been SO great....why is it when we're going through a break-up we need to hear the same thing over and over? Have the same reassurances?
My X was SOOOO functional. I could never really even tell he was drunk-- it just made him less anxious and more outgoing and relaxed when he drank. He has expressed the desire to quit...he wanted to get better....but then we just broke up instead. It's hard when you've planned your life with someone. :(
I am getting better every day. I know it takes time....I just can't help thinking that if I had done x y and z differently...maybe he would have been ok. OR maybe the drinking really wasn't that big of an issue, you know? I felt a bit LONELY sometimes in the relationship, but I didn't really feel effected by the drinking, you know? He wasn't pass-out-pee-your-pants drunk ever.
I'm sad. Help!!! :(
[/quote">
Heavy Addictions Alcohol/Drugs/Porn/Video Games
are Very Very Bad for a Marrage
My EXWife was Addicted to Alcohol/Drugs it Destroyed our Marrage
They keep doing Drinking/Druging they will start becoming Abusive and speending every dime they have on thier Addictions.
They will Buy Beer/Pot before they will pay bills
They will Cuss You and Finally Attack you
The Police Will Come to YOUR House !
(There is a 5o percent chance they will Lie to Police and YOU could be arrested also, will not a Drunk/Druggie lie to Police ? )
Re: Anyone else been with an ALCOHOLIC?? brielle123: I know it is not the same, but my dad was an alcoholic and my mom tried to change him and help him for thirty years. It wasn't until I got older that I understood the affect that his alcoholism had on her and her life with him. And also it wasn't until he almost died from a second seizure that he had (due to alcohol withdrawl he was having when he tried to quit drinking) recently that he finally took her seriously. But it took THIRTY years to get to that point, and she, like you, never really looked at his drinking as a problem within their relationship until it was almost too late. If your x doesn't get help, and until he can admit that he needs help, it is very probable that his drinking will only get worse within time.
My dad was like your x it sounds like, I couldn't (and neither could my mom) ever tell when he was drunk, he was never abusive physically or verbally, was a productive member of society, and he always provided very well financially for our family. Anyway, to make a long story short he just got back from rehab from the Betty Ford clinic in California, where he learned a lot about his addiction (that he finally admitted to having), and where my mom learned a lot about the addiction as well because she went to the clinic also, and met a lot of people that were part of a family where someone was an alcoholic. The rehab pushed Al-Anon, (which I know the previous poster already suggested) my mom attended the meetings in California and it really helped her understand what was and is going on with my dad, and it also helped her understand that his drinking is and always has been a problem within their marriage, even though it took her a long time to grasp that.
Anyway, I totally suggest Al-Anon, there are people there that are dealing with break-up issues due to their significant others alcoholism, people just like you that never thought it was a problem within the relationship. Alcoholics usually have deeper issues, something is driving them to drink all the time, (which I am sure you already know) and it is usually used as a tool to fight the demons within themselves.
Good luck to you, and I hope you start to feel better really soon!
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