In need of mental support cheatedonagain: Hi,
Haven't posted in a while but have been on every once in a while to check on everyone.
I was doing good...so I thought. Very limited contact with the ex, have been out living life meeting people, doing lots of fun things with the kids. Until today....I spoke to the ex this morning about being time to sign the kids up for their fall sports. Well the conversation turned into money and how he doesn't have any so if I don't pay for them they can't go. I have been paying for all the sports that my kids have been involved in this year. I know that is what support money is for but the lifestyle my son is used to living he was able to do everything he wanted and now I can't afford it. His dad even cut off his membership to our local gym which is where he went swimming, playing basketball with his friends, etc. I guess he needed the extra $194 a year in his pocket. That bothers me but not as much as what my ex said to me before he hung up on me which is what he used to do all the time when I allowed him contact with me. He said I'm not your dad so why do I have to support you b/c he has to pay me spousal support until the divorce and then he continued by saying "everything I have to pay and everything I lost is worth it b/c I am with her now and not with you." Thats what really hurt! Why does it bother me...and why does he have to say such hurtful things? Then he laughed and called me a name...which I have no idea what it was b/c I couldn't hear him and hung up on me.
This probably sounds so petty and childish but its really eatting me up inside.
Thanks for listening.
Re: In need of mental support CDNgurl: Oh... ouch. I'm so sorry he said those cruel words to you. That is an unacceptable thing to say. Period. :(
I'm not sure what support laws are like in your area, but in Ontario, we have something called "special expenses" which are in addition to basic child support. This includes day care, orthodontics not covered by a plan, and fees for activities such as hockey etc. The rule of thumb is that if these are costs that would have been reasonable in the "in tact" home, then they are still reasonable and need to be pro-rated.
I'd look into it and see if your laws are similar. Your children are entitled to the same sort of activities they would have enjoyed had there not been a separation, provided the costs are reasonable.
Best of luck, and many many hugs!
Re: In need of mental support JNA: He's just angry right now which happens when two people split up and money is involved...
Money the root of all evil ya know
Limit contact (Do Not No Contact) and things will be ok in the end...
Stay Strong
JNA
Re: In need of mental support momuv3: In our state the child support is not to go to sports, hobbies etc. My ex husband and I each pay half of all those things. You would never make it and its not fair that you have to pay for all of that. We share half of uninsured medical, sports and any outside expenses.
Re: In need of mental support Spike: [quote author=JNA link=topic=33547.msg347761#msg347761 date=1156382023">
Money the root of all evil ya know
[/quote">
Funny, I thought women were!!!
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