My heart hurts so badly lusciouslips30:
It's been over 7 weeks now my ex-boyfriend left me for someone else. He has tried several times to come around and talk, but everytime I pose the topic of us getting back together he brings up all sort of baggage from the past, yet he says he loves me. Right now he has gone away for a three week vacation and calls me occassionally, he asks me if I misses him, I say yes I do and I've also stopped talking to a guy whom he thought I had something going on with. I tell him you need to make up your mind while you're away about who you need, and as usual he says it's all your fault why things turn out this way. I want to know how someone can be so evil when they're the one actually cheating but still find all sort of petty trifling things to throw on me like am the one at fault why things is this way, and he have to be hanging with someone else. All his family tells me he don't love the girl and he is just hanging with her. I feel so used and confused right now, my heart feels as if it has been shatterred in pieces and I wonder if I'll ever feel good again. I used to take paxil a while back and had actually come off of them, but now my doc put me back on again. I am trying my best not to contact him but that's almost impossible as we have two kids together.
Re: My heart hurts so badly Tim4971: Sorry to be hard, but some guys on this site were with me when I first joined. He says he loves you?? What definition of 'love' did he read. If he 'loved' you, he would be with you and not with the OW. He is just trying to have his cake and eat it. Don't let it happen. He will screw you down further. Sorry.
Re: My heart hurts so badly hr: Try not to talk to him about your relationship only the kid stuff. If you tell him you miss him or you love him it is only feeding him. I know how bad you are hurting. My heart goes out to you. I have felt that way so many times. Don't feed the ugly monster in him. If he calls don't answer. If he keeps calling let him wait. You are only prolonging your pain. Can your relationship survive this? I don't know the answer, but I do know that if he is seeing someone right now don't make yourself available to him. Let him miss you to. Hang in there.
Re: My heart hurts so badly broken_saint: heya lucious,
sounds like he misses you and is uncertain of making any decisions. he might actually like where he is right now, or he may not. but make no mistake HE left. you owe nothing to him, you don't even have to answer to him when he calls. does he care for your you? i would say yes of course he does. but at the same time he should try to put more concideration on the damage being done by 1) blaming you instead of forgiving you and mainly himself for the end of the relationship. i mean DAMN! you have 2 kids together, how bad can it be! and 2) making you validate your feelings to him. letting him know that you still "miss him" or "love him" only empowers his decision for leaving and gives him the closure he needs.
i have to admit one thing tho, it's really a blessing for some to still talk to thier ex and have them tell you that they still miss you and care. i havent heard from mine in about 5 months. she poof'd on me for someone else after 9 years. so for me to hear that you talk to yours the way you do kinda makes me jealous.
who knows tho, sounds like he'll come back to you when things go bad with him and the other or he may not. if you want my opinion on getting him back, i'd only have to say, stop talking to him about the relationship, take away his control over you. you'll see how much harder he'll keep trying.
Re: My heart hurts so badly lusciouslips30: Guys thanks so much for these words of inspiration. Am gon try and ignore him and try my best not to call him as well, as he is just playing with my emotions and am so scared of when he comes back from vacation, what his reaction to me will be when he gets back.
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