Re: ANGRY STAGE...... momuv3: I agree with Crystal. You may slip back sometimes but they are shorter and less frequent. Remember, two steps forward and one step back. As long as overall you are making forward steps.....
Since I did my final goodbye letter to him last Sunday (which was more for me than him) I feel better overall. I said what I needed to say and am moving on. I still am sad from time to time but now I am just pissed off that he wasted so much of my life and used me. I am hoping my papers come soon from him as he is saying there is no debt....but there is. He owed me money from before we were married ($13,000) and even signed a promissory note to me. I think he hopes i either forgot or am going to be nice and let it go. I would love to be a fly on the wall when I include that in my response papers. Why should I let that go? I do not care what his standard of living will be anymore or how strapped he will be. Sucker.
Re: ANGRY STAGE...... darkrose: I don't know where I am now to be honest with you. I'm not really angry at my stbxw per-se..I am angry about the divorce.
I am angry about how she left. I am angry that she wants to take my son away from me. I am angry about what she's doing to my son. I am angry that her stuff's still at my house. I am angry that I put all this effort into courting, marrying, then providing for her and she throws it away..and most of all, I'm angry that her actions forced me to play my hand and file for divorce, so SHE didn't have to pay for it..and apparently, she's playing the fact that **I** filed up to her "friends" (she has no more friends), to make herself out to be a martyr.
Looking at that, I bet it looks like I'm pretty pissed off at my stbx..but I'm not. I actually have no negative emotions towards her. She's just makes me laugh and shake my head with her antics. At this point I wonder what I ever did see in her. We were both different people back then and maybe we just had the same priorities.
Re: ANGRY STAGE...... broken_saint: holy poop! its micheal! man tim, you've just been blessed. thanks for this site micheal, you and everyone here has saved me!
*BOWS*
tim, havent forgotten you! i'll post in a few
Re: ANGRY STAGE...... ctrlaltdelete: You're gonna go in and out of the stages for years to come - believe me I know, it's been 3 years now. Anger was a great stage. It was empowering and invigorating - it gave me the nudge to get through to the next stage, which for me was forgiveness and acceptance. Anger was awesome, but don't let it consume you, just let it motivate you. It was during this stage that I rebuilt my life - new hobbies, new friends, etc. It was a whirlwind and I enjoyed it, but it was exhausting when it was over.
Best advice I ever got was from my counselor who advised to enjoy the anger phase, but make sure you have something left to fill the hole it leaves behind when you get over it. I didn't fully understand until the anger left me and I was kind of deflated. Luckily I had built a new life in the wake of my old one, so I just picked myself off and moved ahead. I hope you can do that too.
Good for you that you've graduated from "wallowing grief" because that stage sucks, doesn't it? :P
Re: ANGRY STAGE...... Tim4971: It's nice to hear that it is normal what I am going thru. I am still feeling angry now, but, it's a weird anger. It's a short tempered anger. But anyone that followed my 'motivation' thread.... It has given me that. Tonight I ironed my clothes, I sorted out my kids clothes, I accepted two temping jobs.... Something I would not have done three days ago. What a rollercoaster eh?! Like the point about the going back to other stages but them becoming less, that is real good sound advice that I am certain will happen to me.
And HEY! thanks Michael, it seems I must be honoured to get your thread!!! Thanks a lot.
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