New And In Over My Head chrisS: Don't really know what to tell. It's so long and complicated that I honestly don't know where to begin. Sometimes I get so damn angry but I can't show that to her because I know it's not easy on her and I don't want her to hate me.
We met two years ago while she was separated from her first husband (yes I know I'm an idiot) She has two very bright and beautiful children (boy and a girl) who I love with all my heart. I still love her and she insists that she still loves me but just not in that way anymore. Too hard she says. She wants me to stay involved in her kids life because they love me and ask about me all the time. I want to but it hurts so bad when I'm there and she thinks I should be able to hide it for their sakes but sometimes I can't and have to go into another room. I'm a grown man and I hate it when I cry. Up until now I have cried a handful of times in my life usually at the death of someone but now I get so emotional. She doesnt cry in front of anyone. I know she does because I have heard her in the other room but she doesn't want me to see or the kids.
I've been through some hard times in my life as have everyone I guess but right now I just don't know if I can take this. I am completely alone because she was the one person I could talk to about things and now that is gone. This was my first marriage and I failed so horribly at making her happy. As a man I am supposed to be tough and be able to handle any situation and for the most part of my life I did just that. Tonight I'm alone and don't know where I will go from here. don't know if I even want to try anything.
Re: New And In Over My Head Older Guy: [quote author=chrisS link=topic=33577.msg347852#msg347852 date=1156399869">
As a man I am supposed to be tough and be able to handle any situation and for the most part of my life I did just that. [/quote">
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not "supposed" to be anything but "yourself". And that includes having feelings. If you "feel" something then it must be real and you need to acknowledge that feeling. Don't go by what society tells you just do what is right for you.
Good luck..
Re: New And In Over My Head chum: this is extremely hard and it hurt so much...don't be so hard on yourself
Re: New And In Over My Head chaotic: [quote author=Older Guy link=topic=33577.msg347863#msg347863 date=1156410154">
[quote author=chrisS link=topic=33577.msg347852#msg347852 date=1156399869">
As a man I am supposed to be tough and be able to handle any situation and for the most part of my life I did just that. [/quote">
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not "supposed" to be anything but "yourself". And that includes having feelings. If you "feel" something then it must be real and you need to acknowledge that feeling. Don't go by what society tells you just do what is right for you.
Good luck..
[/quote">
As a man, you are supposed to know when you cant handle a situation alone and need help. There is nothing wrong with hurting and letting people in to help. That was perhaps the biggest lesson I learned thru my ordeal. I tried to keep it to myself for so long. Finally a really good friend came to me and asked if I needed to talk. It was the first time in my life that I broke down in front of someone. He has continued to be there. Just as us Ojarians will continue to be here for you.
Dont try to handle this yourself. Seek out friends. Seek out counseling. It does not make you weak. Good luck.
Re: New And In Over My Head EssieDotCom: [quote"> As a man I am supposed to be tough and be able to handle any situation and for the most part of my life I did just that. [/quote">
You don't have to be tough; as a wife going through all of this I wish my husband hadn't been so tough.... I need to see him show some emotion to me once in a while... I need to know that I'm not the only one in pain. Emotion is not a bad thing and the more you hold it the more it builds up. and building it up isn't good for you at all. You are not any less of a man if you show emotion. **HUGS** welcome to ojar
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