I hope you [insert word here] and die. Zerpos: I cant take this! One minute I am so happy and optimistic about what is going on (yet still hurting.. Kinda one of those times you repeat to yourself that everything is going to be ok over and over and over again) and the next I cant get my mind off of him and I get MAJORLY Depressed! He hasnt even brought the papers by (he said he would sometime this week) and he is telling everyone he is Divorced! And he is already out looking for someone!!! The only reason I lost him was because for once I stood my ground instead of being a pushover like he was used to (He is the baby of his family... No offense to people who are... And his mom see's him as her "perfect baby boy") His mom did EVERYTHING for him... You name it she did it. He was 17 when he first learned how to do his laundry and even THEN she still did it. His parents are even letting him go out drinking (although he is underaged) and drink at their house! EVERYTHING about him has changed from the way he dresses to the way he talks (although he is still imature and wont talk to me all that much) He even was VERY religious and now he claims he is Atheist (again no offense to people who are) I dont know what to do! I am sooo confused and depressed that I cant even think straight! He has given up on everything he loves and all he does is go out with his "friends" and get drunk. He had such a good future ahead of him and he was doing Marvelously... But now he is just a drunk... an Underaged drunk no less... This is NOT the man I married. I do not know who this person... This THING is who is tearing my heart out and smashing it on the floor! I dont know what to think or do anymore... I am soooo heartbroken and I dont know if I will ever trust again... I would go from trusting him.. to finding something he did out... To being heartbroken/Depressed... To forgiving him... To trusting him. Over...and over.. and over again...
Re: I hope you [insert word here] and die. darkrose: My wife has been saying we're divorced as well. Just like everything else in our relationship, I should probably sit down with her and explain very slowly and in simple terms that we are not divorced yet as a judge has not dissolved the marriage. If anything we're separated.
But why split hairs? I'm tired of being a dad to both her and our child. So one's gotta go and it ain't the 3 year old...
Re: I hope you [insert word here] and die. craez: when he goes out with his friends, please try with all that you've got to not sit around and obsess about what he's doing and who with. it sounds like your friends and family must be close by. you are SO lucky. i don't have anyone. if i had my girlfriends here, i'd make one move in. or at LEAST be here with me whenever i'm feeling overwhelmed. what's happening is totally depressing. but. you can't change what's happening because you can't control your husband! you haven't done anything wrong! surround yourself with people who support you. keep your mind busy.
i feel sorta dumb saying all that. i need to do it myself. i think i just bummed myself out. lame.
Re: I hope you [insert word here] and die. superwife: Welcome to ojar!
Underaged drunk? That leaves me to believe that you guys are really young (so sad....). But that doesn't really matter.
As far as the technicality of being 'divorced', well, I am not either. It has been a year and a half, and due to circumstances somewhat beyond my control, I am still not divorced. But if this is very new, and you think he may be the type to try to come back in a moment of sobriety, then you need to be careful. If this is what you want, then take matters into your own hands. File the papers yourself. There seems to be a pattern where the leavers tend to procrastinate, and wait for the leavees to file. (BTW, I am not too good w/ talking to people who are looking to reconcile, so if you are, I apologize if I sound harsh).
Alcohol does awful things to people. I never had to deal with that personally, but I'm sure this is rough for you. It may be a phase for him, or it may be a disease.
Re: I hope you [insert word here] and die. jannette Garcia: zerpos, you're only 18. He might have just realized that he got married and that it is time to stop partying and that's why he's going out and doing all these things. He sounds very immature. This might sound harsh, but you're probably better off without him. My boyfriend was the same way, we got together when we were 17, moved in together when we were 18, it was hard, we had very rough moments, fast forward 3 years later, and we have a daughter, I dont regret having her...but if I would've left him when I was 18, I would've just gotten rid of him, and I"d probably be out of school already. But anyway, the point is, you have the chance to start over, be single, go to school, have a career, and still have plenty of time to start a family. Take your chance! You dont have kids together, be grateful for that. You can leave him and not have to hear from him again. You dont want to be with someone who's underaged and whose parents agree with him going out to drink! His parents are keeping him from growing up. My ex mother in law is the same way...thank god she's in a different state and she doesnt have that much control over his life. But trust me on this, if his parents are like that now, you better believe they're going to be like that forever, and everytime he feels he needs to get ouf of the relationship he will, because he has somewhere to go, and parents who will let him do whatever he wants without giving him responsibility. RUN NOW!!
