never felt so lost chum: well my story is long and complicated. but here is the basics of it
i was with my husband for 13 years we have 2 kids and are about 2 weeks in to our separation. he tells me he loves me but the passion is gone, i don't understand how that, probably never will. he has a new friend although i have some doubt about that. we move 8 hours away from my family 7 months ago so now on top of separating i need to try to figure out how to get home to be with my family. as well as get the kids settled in a new school on top of the changes thay already have to deal with. i have never felt so lost in my life.
Re: never felt so lost Melbel: Chum,
I can't imagine how hard it would be to live 8 hours from my family!
My xhusband left me as well after 11 1/2 years and 2 kids to be with his girlfriend of 3 weeks......so I know exactly how you feel there. I had a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact he left his family for the White Trash girlfriend (who I knew) but I wasn't the problem. It was him...I wasnt exciting enough and I am not the pick up and go kinda gal...he wanted that, he wanted no stress, no kids, no wife reminding him to take out the trash. He is a selfish child who was unwillling to be a man and talk to me about what he needed from me. He was thinking with his penis and not with his brain! With that being said, I am happy! For the first time in a long time, I am happy.
I am so sorry I know the pain you are feeling. It sucks and the ONLY things that got me through are my kids, my daddy and Ojar! Keep posting and let us help you!
When you fall we will pick you up and when you have a bad day and need to just have a moment....this is a safe place to do it, when you are in need of cyber hugs this is the best place on the web. We are like a family here and we take care of each other. Big or small we are here to help.....it's family what else ya gonna do?
It has taken time and some wonderful people but I am glad he left. I see who I am! I am strong, confident, I have the 2 greatest kids, I have amazing family and friends, I have a great job and I am doing fantastic without him!! I know this will happen for you as well. Just keep your chin up, don't give up and you will make it through this stronger and happier!
(((((Hugs)))))
Melissa
Re: never felt so lost BeatenNotBroken: Chum I'm sorry that you are here. As for advice do not initiate contact with him. Let him come to you. If he is going to be with this "friend" then he is going to be with her and there is nothing you can do about it. Clinging and calling all the time will just make things worse. I know you think i may be jumping to conclusions but i've just seen this to many times. We are here for you. Try to stay positive and keep your dignity.
Re: never felt so lost superwife: As far as the no-contact, you may have one problem with that...the kids. It may be too soon to tell, but if he is interested in maintaining his fatherhood status, you need to consider out how it will work. I don't have much advice as far as that goes. There are times where I think we'd be better off without Daddy in the picture (but that is very selfish of me to say that, as she loves her daddy).
A littel birdie told me you have a very supportive family. Don't ever forget that. My family is very supportive, but cannot relate. They may be 8 hours away, but always a phone call or IM away.
And you're right: you may never understand why the passion is gone. You may never get the closure you are looking for.
Re: never felt so lost Feel: Chum,
You have come to a great place for support and you will need to talk about it! Don't doubt anything, go with your gut feelings... I know your hurting and you but you need to stay strong for your kids.
Where do things stand with him and the kids?
I am hurting for you!
When you feel up to it, seek legal advice...
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