Re: So... I'm new to this. magsynchro: The part that's the hardest, is the relationship I had before this, while it wasn't marriage ended up in the person cheating on me as well. It was a big part of my life when me and my wife met.
I know... the duh answer to the friends vs. husband thing is there shouldn't be a choice. It should be stand by your man right?
But it's how she says she feels.
It's hard for her though, as she really doesn't make friends easily...
I feel like I'm teaching her that any friends she makes will have to be gotten rid of if I have a problem with them. = /
As for the no contact rule, I would, and we did, for a month... but.. there's the complication with her cutting herself over the guilt now.
She's in therapy, but she's told her therapist that the only thing keeping the razor from her arms is me.
Am I crazy for seeking counseling from a therapist to find a way to deal with her friends being the one's she cheated on me with?
Re: So... I'm new to this. confused101: [IMG"> http://i2.tinypic.com/27xf5mc.jpg">
Re: So... I'm new to this. magsynchro: *smiles.* Thanks Rainking, I know the story, but my favorite chapter is the story about the tracks you see going across the footprints... that's where God drags us kicking and screaming across our life so we can really look back and realize what we had. Sometimes we really only find out what we need now from what we found then.
I needed that.
Re: So... I'm new to this. kellsbee: Hiya Fellow okie! Sorry that you're here on ojar but glad to meet with you. I've read your story and I do sympathize. You should read mine too. I, unfortunately, have been through almost the same stuff you have and have been in and out of ojar for almost 2 years now. Im always around so if you wanna talk sometime you can PM me.
~Kells
Re: So... I'm new to this. Trish: Wow there sure is alot of cheating goin on in your household. My best advice? Go your seperate ways for a while. It seems you both have some serious issues with staying faithful (her more than you) and it won't stop just because your in honeymoon reconcile stage which honestly only lasts a minute or a week LOL. The sheer fact she won't choose you over the people she cheated on you with is a huge red flag and honestly that is not fair to you. Just as you should NEVER speak to the one you cheated with again. It's a threat to your marriage I don't care how you look at it. IN reality? She (and possibly you not sure) will find others to do this with. Did you say 6? Yeah I don't think your ride is over yet. Hell mine cheated with 1 and I was done.
Maybe some serious counseling could help but that's a call you guys have to make.
I think where you both went wrong (and alot have done it) was meeting, proposing, married all in a 3 month time frame? You don't really know a person in that time frame. SO who you have? IS who she is. Good luck and I really hope it works out for you.
