Re: What Is The Secret To Not Falling When You Meet Someone New? JNA: [quote author=TimeStamp link=topic=34024.msg353239#msg353239 date=1157076568">
I have talked relationship style to several people since my divorce. I have a tendency to jump all out towards a relationship to quickly, which is scaring the other person off. I am tired of getting hurt by something that I do not know how to control. How do you people stop yourselves from doing that?
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I've never had the problem you are having but can tell you how to solve it if you want to talk to me in IM sometime...
Never chase a woman especially early on as it "Scares" them and should
I've never had a problem doing that because I have my "own" life and a woman is an "addition" to that...
Not a "replacement" for it
In otherwords...
I like my life just how it is
If you would like to join my life then I'd be more than happy to oblige...
Outside of that sorry can't help ya
To stop what is happening to you then you need to have your "own" life so much so that you don't care whether you are dating someone or not...
When you are "unavailable" to them is when women see you as most "available" to them
So hard to explain...
In IM maybe ok
JNA
BTW...
TS wrote: "I have talked relationship style to several people since my divorce."
Don't listen to the enemy...
Listen to me...
;)
Re: What Is The Secret To Not Falling When You Meet Someone New? yella: You have the same issues I had. The answer is to learn about yourself, and who you really are. Then learn where that void is coming from, and why you're so quick to fill it.
Usually when we have a large emotional void, and we feel insecure within ourselves, we tend to cling to someone to help us fill it, but in doing that, we cause more damage... to ourselves. Sometimes this has to happen a few times before we begin to see what the issue is, then we can work to fill that void on our own.
In doing that, we can slowly climb into healthy relationships and avoid falling too hard and too fast for the person who might not be the right one for us.
You have to do a lot of soul searching, and really take a look at the "ugly". Then you can figure out what the root cause is, and begin to repair the inner damage. Until you do that, this cycle will only continue, and possibly get worse.
At least that's how it was for me.
Re: What Is The Secret To Not Falling When You Meet Someone New? JimB: Aside from the excellent points already made here....
I would recommend being extraordinarily forgiving to yourself. Remember, if you are falling hard for someone, that is tied to your emotions, and emotions are by nature beyond your control. Don't beat yourself up for falling for someone - you can't help that. But you can dictate your course of action. It's not what you're feeling that scares people away - it's what you're doing.
So if your goal is to not scare these potential partners away, take a look at what you are doing that might be scary. Then change it.
That said, it's probably a pretty good sign you're not ready to date yet if you feel you're getting carried away.
Re: What Is The Secret To Not Falling When You Meet Someone New? Mr Nice Guy: I'm in this position right now. It feels like she doesn't really even want to talk to me anymore. I don't really knkow what to do :S
Re: What Is The Secret To Not Falling When You Meet Someone New? guest233: Thanks everyone. Gosh, you ladies and gents are great. I will take your advice as I go out tonight. I feel as though I am ready for the dating scene but I just don’t know how to do it. What steps to take, ect... I met my ex and got married really young so this dating stuff is all new to me. My goal for tonight is to have fun and don’t expect a thing. On top of that, I'm not looking for love anymore, which is a great thing for me to accomplish.
Thanks to All
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