What is the right way to say goodbye? sarahsdad: I'm 34, wife is 32. We've been married for 7 years and have a 4 year old daughter. Our marriage has been on the rocks since the day my daughter came home. To make a long story short we both have been very unhappy and my wife announced she is moving out in 2 weeks. No abuse, I think there has been an affair on her end but no proof yet. There was severe emotional neglect on both sides.
I'm not that upset my wife is leaving, I am upset she wasnt willing to try marriage counciling. I am trying to do whatever I can to help my wife during this time. I dont hate this woman for leaving, I've dreamt about leaving myself but just couldnt because I'm worried about how my 4 year old princess will handle it.
I've offered to help my wife move, we've taken a loan out against our house(that I will stay in until it sells) to give her a little nest egg to start over with. We seems to be in agreement with property division and rotating schedule for our daughter, so it hasnt gotten bitter yet. I'd like to think that someday we could become friends again. Even if we cant be friends I want to remain civil with her as I know that is what is in our daughter's best interest.
But how do you tell your spouse of 7 years goodbye and good luck? I dont want to just turn my back on her as she leaves our house for the last time but I dont want to leave her the impression that I'd be willing to take her back if she changes her mind either.
Re: What is the right way to say goodbye? Balist: I think you just did. Although, it will never really be goodbye because of your daughter
Unfortunately, only 3 out of 10 divorces end up becoming NOT bitter and destructive. So just be careful and watch out for yourself. I wish you all the best as you both walk down this path. At least it is mutual.
Re: What is the right way to say goodbye? poppy: everyone is different in how they handle these things. i would ask her if she wants your help. if not, make yourself scarce and spend the day with your daughter. that will make the move easier for your wife and that can be you goodwill gesture.
i asked my husband to leave the house and then sent him a text message when i was gone. i never spoke to him. it was very difficult for me, but i cannot imagine that there was anything he could say that would make the situation better except, "please don't leave".
there will be time in the future to be her friend if that is what you want. you don't have to do it know. you can be civil and stoic right now. you can take her lead. this will be a difficult transition.
