Seperation Anxiety??? HELP Discarded: What is this? and how do you deal with it?
Think I'm going through this right now : (
STBX wants to reconcile and I feel this longing to do so even though I'm almost positive it can't be. I don't trust her wanting to reconcile things. She hasn't been honest in so long. She hasn't wanted me in months, but now everything is being offered to me on a silver platter. All this within 24 hours of the Temporary hearing being over in which she lost basically everything. hate me one day and love me the next???? How can I even consider it, but I truly want to. I would love to fix things, mainly for the sake of our children. I think it's all a facade though. I think she wants back what I gave her not ME.
I think it's seperation anxiety that makes me want to try, and her offering up everything on a silver platter makes it horrible to go through. I keep telling myself not to see her and have others drop off the kids and pick up the kids, but I seem to find excuses to stop by and see her. Oh, how I hate this.
Re:Seperation Anxiety??? HELP jason_stl: The realities of her decision(s) are finally hitting home. Face with uncertainty, I think most of us prefer to seek a warm, friendly environment. That is probably the root of why she wishes to reconcile.
You have to come to terms with being able to trust her again. If you can not then do not reconcile. If you can, then why not give it a shot?
Re:Seperation Anxiety??? HELP Discarded: I dont' think I can trust her. She still has way too many issues to work through and blames me for most all of them. I worry way too much that if I tried to reconcile I would just have to go through all of it again and possibly loose what I have right now. There is just too much to loose to try it again. I still care about her, but I am to the point now that I really don't like hearing from her. It brings up too much pain to hear from her. I feel the same way about seeing her right now, untill I'm face to face so I am avoiding that.
I know I can do alot better. The kids are the primary reason I would really consider getting back together and thats probably a poor reason to try, I feel that things would probably go good for about a year then fall apart as the past would be too much to overcome and lay aside or she would just go back to the way things were prior to the divorce starting. I do not want that.
I also feel she has/is not being 100% open and honest. There are just too many things that I know pieces of that I do not know everything about. I do not want to start reconciling and find out more things that she has done or has lied to me about and reopen all those wounds. If I was sure that she was/is being 100% open and honest then maybe I would feel like giving it a chance, but I don't feel that way.
I have come to realize so much the things that were missing that I just didn't think about prior to all of this starting. Things that I want from a partner that she was/is just unwilling to give. When we first got married she did those things but within a year or so she just slowly quit doing them. I know I could have done some things better/differently and I know I will take that to the next relationship and will do those things better.
Re:Seperation Anxiety??? HELP seth: I hear what you're saying about distrusting the motives of your STBX.
I always trusted my ex and never thought that money really played a role in her thinking, but apparently it did. She screwed me out of thousands of dollars and I gave her no financial incentive to stay and every financial incentive to leave.
By leaving me, she escapes the student loan debt I racked up ($60k) and doesn't have to pay me the money she owes me for supporting her while she was in grad. school too. I was stupid not to get my name on the title of our car and she even took the dog and cat too.
From now on, I'm going to have to be a little more financially savvy, hate to say it. I should take care of my bottom line, get a marital contract next time and look after my own financial health....
I too would distrust your STBX. You feelings are not coming out of the blue, they're there for a reason. Trust yourself. Keep your self respect....
Re:Seperation Anxiety??? HELP amess: Oh J...S Seth, I am so sorry this happened to you. :o
Someone who could do that and walk away is licking the pavement in the self-esteem arena.
