Re: New here- don't know what to do big_daddy: [quote author=faraday link=topic=34061.msg354031#msg354031 date=1157136282">
all this happened last night after he had come home from 6 hours at the gym.
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Honesty with yourself, with your own heart, is really really important in times like these.
6 hours at the gym? That would be hard to believe in just about any situation.
Re: New here- don't know what to do faraday: Big Daddy- sorry I was being sarcastic- I don't really believe he was at the gym for 6 hours- I think he was with her- and the worst part is that I really believed that he would never cheat- never- he knows that alot of my self esteem issues have to do with the sexual abuse from my previous relationship and that guy had cheated on me several times- I feel like I am choking- and I wanna scream, and cry and I want him to put his arms around me and tell me he's sorry and I don't know- I feel sick
Re: New here- don't know what to do brielle123: I am so sorry that you have to go through this, especially after your traumatic past...I think that it is really good that you found this site, the rest of us here are thankful that we found it as well :)
I think I understand your story, but what exactly won't he forgive YOU for? For moving your mother in, using, having 7 miscarriages? Because you fight back verbally? I can understand that one, my STBXH blames my "attitude" for most of our problems and really is the basis that he wants a divorce.
As far as the OW, that is NOT your fault...you did not drive him to spend time with her, he chose to do that instead of trying to stay a family unit. Don't blame yourself, you have been through too much already to blame yourself for that. I know that it is soooo hard to keep it together, but things do have a way of working themselves out...you need to talk to your husband and ya'll need to listen to each other, or at least try.
I know how hard it is to do all this, especially with an impending anniversary...mine is in about 3 weeks and my STBXH is just that - a STBX. It hurts, but it is amazing how strong you are, even when you never thought you could be. You will get through this, have faith, hope, and don't doubt yourself....you will get through this, keep posting, it helps so much. We are here for you....
Re: New here- don't know what to do Feel: I know exactly how you feel... sick to my stomach I was when I knew he was with her, i could feel it and not to mention I wondered all the time if he was thinking of her, when he was with me of course. How could you not...
have you tried just letting his mom know whats been going on?
I feel so bad that you have to deal with this and I can tell you have no where to go...
I hope you can find some help somewhere? Don't you knoe of anyone you can trust that can help you? Whatever you do, don't leave that house!
Re: New here- don't know what to do iya: my heart goes out to you for all the hurt you have had in your life. sometimes, it really feels like some people get the short end of the stick, you know. but reading your blog, you are a fighter and you've made it so far. i dont know if you have ever tried counseling, but i would do that if i were you. you need help to help you deal with all the pains from your past for yourself, also talk to your spouse and see if he is willing go to marriage counseling with you too. when you are married to someone, you love that person and i am sure that you both love each other very much, but you may have also hurt each other and you both need to decide if you are going to let what happened in the past tear you away from each other, or if you want to fight for your marriage. and of course the 1st thing that has to go is his OW. As a wife, I have to say that i really HATE men who suddenly have a "friend" who is a woman that they suddenly talk to more then their wife. I wish those OW's out there can just go catch AIDS and die because they are nothing but homewreckers. (sorry, just venting a little ;))
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