Re: Recently abandoned and hurting so much... Ayramayth: His family never really liked me... except his brother but now I doubt that too since he fled with him in the middle of the night... there is no financial concerns, no bank accounts... we always dealt with cash or I used my moms account for other thibngs (only my name is on it aside from hers...)
He has never done this before, never just packed up and disappeared... his cell phone was off all day and now he just turned it back on and not answering, I just left the first message asking why? Saying we deserve better than this at least a note or a few words or something... I was the one that had to tell our son why his uncles room was empty and answwer when he kept saying "wheres papi!!"
I have a daughter too that stays with her father, who has known my husband for the past almost 6 years, who even calls him papi, so it isnt just our son but my daughter and when I see her I dont even know what to say top her since she is older than my son (son 5 daughter 9 ) and will understand even more deeply...
Re: Recently abandoned and hurting so much... Feel: If he comes back to say sorry after all this and no answer to just leave you and your child, will you take him back!
I would say DON'T, but he isn't my husband and only you know what you can put up with, but who knows if he consults a lawyer and comes back to play you so he can have joint custody adn a share of the home???
My husband did that... I had my phones taped. He was on a conversation with his dad and his dad said what ever you do (he had been out of the house a year almost before he played me into coming back) don't leave the house this time... this way you get your share. Regardless of the share, he owed me a lot of money including back pay, but again... he played me, took advantage of my trust for him.
Trust me you don't want to live like this... GET A LAWYER, don't fool yourself, if he left like this, something is up and you don't want NO part in it.... JUST REMEMBER THIS, THEYA RE GREAT LIARS AND THEY TEND TO WHEEL YOU BACK IN WHERE THEY WANT YOU... PLEASE DON'T BE FOOLED!
Re: Recently abandoned and hurting so much... Ayramayth: I dont know... I know I shouldnt and I know I feel this pain because of him but I also know that I have this stupid co dependancy issue thing where I can never say no and stand up for myself just so I wont be at risk of ending up alone...
And he knows that he does, he knows my whole past.,... I may as well let it all out in here since I am seeing help and support... I was kidnapped when I was 13, held for a year alone locked up in some middle of the woods backcountry house... and I have tried and tried so hard for years to put all that behind me and grow stronger, and he knows all of this, knows all about my past and the abuse that i have faced, and knows that more than anything all I ever want is just to be shown love and right now without him in front of me I can think, I can say "hey he can use this against me!" but if he was acctually here I dont know that I would think like that!
And he still isnt answering the phone and that is just adding to the pain that he wont give me a "why"
Re: Recently abandoned and hurting so much... brielle123: I am so sorry that this happened to you! What a horrible thing to do to you and ya'lls son. You will eventually talk to him, and when you do he needs to realize that he needs to act like a grown, responsible adult and talk to you about what he has decided before he just picks up and leaves without any explaination.
That is just so $hitty to do that to your own child...he doesn't deserve to be a part of you and your son's life. He can't run away forever...he is just not answering his phone because he knows it is you that is calling and he is too immature to face the music....sorry I am sure that I am not helping, I just don't know how someone could do that to their own family - just take off without notice. I know that we are all on this board because we have been hurt somehow by someone that we gave our hearts to - but there is absolutely no exuse for that type of behavior, especially by hurting his own innocent son.
I know that you are hurting right now, and do know that you are not alone in that feeling...we are all here on OJAR because we are experiencing the same pain that you are right now and dealing with the loss or potential loss of a relationship. What everyone else is posting is right...you need to cover your a$$ right now...get an attorney just so you understand what your rights are in this. He cannot just abandon you and ya'lls child like this. Please take care...
Re: Recently abandoned and hurting so much... icwtsmnl: I am so so so sorry you are being faced with this. It all seems so extreme, and I fear that I don't have any really useful advice for you. Right now, you're feeling like 15 different emotions, all on their highest intensity, and maybe panic too. You may hear back from him. Unfortunately, you may not. It would be HORRENDOUS of him if you never heard back, but some people.....are just beyond words.
REgardless, the one thing you must know right now.... no matter what happens, life WILL go on. you WILL get through this, even though it will likely be rough for a while. You'll do what you have to do for yourself and your son, getting a job or whatever, you'll eventually create a new support structure for yourself (friends, coworkers). People get through this. You will too. Despite your past (or maybe BECAUSE of it), you are way stronger than you think you are.
HUGS.
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