Just a rant Mr Nice Guy: It's been quite a few months since my wife told me we should take a break, which shocked me. She then told me she had been seeing someone (a good friend of mine... or so I thought) for a few months, and that was the night I told her it was over.
I think I've been pretty lucky. I basically drank my way through the first week or so and then moved quickly onto the anger stage of things. I still despise her and what she did when I think about it a lot, but for the most part I've moved on and become a little stronger through the whole thing.
I have another girl now, which if you've heard me talk about her in any other threads would know she is also married and separated from her husband. A recipe for disaster judging by some of the comments I've gotten and statistics, but I still really like her all the same and I'm looking forward to see where it goes.
I've really let go of the feelings I once had for my STBX. All other relationships in my life aside, the fact that she cheated on me coupled with the realization that maybe my feelings had started disappearing even before that really solidifies this.
However, the emotional attachment to someone has been harder to let go of and start from scratch since the breakup of my marriage.
I really like the girl I am dating now. We've only been dating for a couple months, but I find too often that I'm searching for the emotional stability and relationship security I once had when I was in a long-term relationship. I know I've been coming across a little needy and stuff, but its very unintentional and that's not how I view it.
The last thing I want to do is go into a relationship looking for a replacement for my wife. All that's gonna do is push her away, she has her own marriage to think about on top of everything and I want to make it as easy as possible on us to just have a normal relationship given the circumstances.
I find I want to talk to her and see her lots of the time, whereas she needs her own time and space to do things for herself. I totally understand this and everything else she tells me she needs, and I'm really doing my best for her because I know it's the best thing for both of us.
I hate to say it, but I feel like if I lose her, it will be even worse of a feeling than when my marriage fell apart and I lost my wife who I was with for over 3 years. I suspect this is because the time I spend with my girlfriend now is much, much better than anything my wife and I had for quite some time. But it's only been a couple months!!!
How do I pull myself away, to the level that she's at and really view this for what it is? Sometimes she's all I can think about, and I don't want to lose this great girl just because my feelings for her are too strong.
Re: Just a rant JNA: Sorry but I read your post three times and it is "very" confusing...
What is your question
As far as the "Neediness"...
That comes from within someone...Not the ending of a realtionship
If for instance you feel you constantly need to be in a relationship and cannot be alone (like my ex was) then that is a "personal problem"...
I would be more than happy to talk to you in IM if you need
JNA
