Re: How can two people getting divorced have such great sex? WhiskeyGirl: Yeah, I can relate to this. It sounds very much like many nights with my ex….right up to about a yr after our separation so I’ll give you my take on it.
First of all, the sex is great because emotions are so high. You lost each other, it hurts a lot…..then for a while you have each other again and it feels right because its familiar and comforting…..at the same time its extremely emotional because you don’t know if this is the last time you will be together like this.
You CAN still love each other very much….but still know that you are not what each other needs, still know that it will never work, and still know that you made the right decision by separating…..that doesn’t stop the emotional and physical reaction you get from their touch.
Sex can be really great even with someone new…..but its love and emotion that makes it fantastic. You can’t match that with someone new no matter how hard you try. Combine that with the fact that when you have been with someone for so long, they know every inch of your body, they know exactly where to touch you and when….they just “fit” so perfectly…..its pretty tough not to fall into that temptation and “pretend” for a while.
I can’t say what your wife is feeling or thinking….but I know for me I did use my ex…..but it wasn’t a cold hearted thing, I did love him very much….and I needed and wanted him as much as he wanted me all the times we fell back into bed. It was emotional and beautiful and I poured every ounce of love I had for him into it…..but I also knew I would never take him back, I knew we would never be a family again.
Afterwards I always felt guilty and angry with myself for falling back into that trap again and there were times that I was as cruel with words as your wife was. “Don’t get all weird on me” …..he would want to talk about how good we are together and how much we love each other…..and I would be busy pointing out all the reasons that it would never work and why can’t we just “pretend” for a while. There were times that he left in tears, there were times that he begged me to stop playing with him like this….that it was killing him, there were times that we fell asleep wrapped up in each others arms feeling completely at ease and in love again…..but still, I knew that it was a temporary thing. I loved him and needed his touch so much sometimes it actually hurt…..but when I looked into the future….it wasn’t him I saw.
I’m sorry,Inked, that’s just my experience. I wish you all the best, and I do hope you guys can reconcile, if that’s what you want. But sex…no matter how wonderful, special, and emotional it is for both sides….does not necessarily mean you are both looking for the same thing.
{{HUGS}}
