She loves me - She loves me NOT airtree: Good morning:
Here is an update on the roller coaster. A couple weeks ago my wife left me and our two kids to live with her mother. Four days later she returned and wanted to work on things and give it a good go. She was back but she really was not back. She made no attempts to try.
For the first time since she returned we had a real conversation last night. She does not want to go to counseling and she is leaving again after work tonight. Geeesh!!!!
What in the world? I can't make any sense of this. Her family is puzzled. I'm puzzled. I have been up and down, I don't know if I'm just getting numb from the pain or if I'm just in denial that this is really happening. I thought I've already gone through all the stages in the past.
It does not hurt as much as before. Is this normal? Is a new wave of pain on the way? I truly hope not.
Anybody?
Re: She loves me - She loves me NOT chaotic: It sounds as if you have been thru it once before and therefore are not feeling the initial shock that one gets from the first go around. That shock, I think, is what causes us the most pain. Once the shock is over, then the pain starts to subside slowly.
Re: She loves me - She loves me NOT airtree: I just went through it a couple weeks ago. As of right now, her stuff is still here. I have this uneasy feeling that when she is gone, I'll be overwhelmed with grief. Feeling a little panicky right now.
Re: She loves me - She loves me NOT chaotic: Air, please be prepared for that shock to set in. Dont start to panic but be ready for the hurt. It will be tough to handle when all of her stuff is gone. Try to have a friend at the house with you when she does pick up her stuff. Another option is to spend a couple days with a close friend then go home. I did and it helped immensly. It was still like something sucked the air from my lungs the first time I saw "our" closet empty of her stuff.
Re: She loves me - She loves me NOT airtree: Thanks chaotic. I will keep that in mind. I just have to figure out the children. Since they will be with me I don't want them to be out of their home. It might bring about real anxiety in them. Especially my 3.5 year old daughter. She is already really confused by what her parents are going through. No loud fighting in the house but she senses something is up. Your suggestions are great though and I will keep that option open.
It has been a few hours since I posted and I'm already feeling worse. I don't want to go through the grief again. I've already cleaned the house and did the laundry. I want to stay busy but at some point I think I will have to ride the wave - again. I just don't want to.
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