You can't go back.... confused101: My ex and I divorced 2 years ago. She re-married a year ago. Recently, we had started being friends again and talking. It was good to hang out and have the kids with us and share the time together. She started to have feelings again for me and expressed them to me. Talked about wanting out of her current sitch and coming back. I was open to the idea, but didn't put any stock into it. I won't lie, I was interested in restoring and fixing what was broken.
She starts calling all the time, coming over, etc. Still giving the impression she was going to be with me. Finally, she got in a fight with her husband and left their house. At the same time, we had to take our son to the hospital because of a bite he had gotten that had gotten swollen. We spent the day together getting him treated and took him out for pizza. That night, she was crying. I asked her to talk to me about what was wrong. She said she didn't think she'd feel so crappy when she left. Saying she didn't deserve him, etc. I knew what she was feeling, and told her I understood and told her she needs to go back home to him. I told her I didn't want to be with anyone who had another person in their heart and mind, and it was ok. I dropped her off at her house and we have gone about our lives.
It all felt different. I didn't have the fire for her. She had the fire for me, and her husband at the same time. I realized that no matter what, it wouldn't feel the same way it was, and she would never feel the same way about me as the day we got married. I'm a tad bit sad, not because she didn't stay with me, but because I recognize that we aren't and never will be what we (me, her, and the kids) once were. Yeah, I knew that long ago when we divorced, but although I didn't hold out hope, I never shut the door. The door is now shut, probably to everyone's benefit in the long run.
So think about this as you build your own life. I had the chance to go back that many people don't have, but the reality is even though the chance may present itself....you probably don't want to (at least I know I don't now).
Re: You can't go back.... chaotic: RK, its a tough thing to realize, I know. You are a good man and it shows your strength that you were able to do what you did.
Glad to hear that you are moving on with your life.
Re: You can't go back.... Spike: Sometimes you need to know for sure that, you've given it all the chance it deserved. I know I had to try once more so I could say that I gave it my all. This realization will serve you well RK. And all shadows of doubt, and what if's are gone. Move on!!!
Re: You can't go back.... big_daddy: [IMG"> http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n142/locoyoyo/firspr.jpg">
Re: You can't go back.... alonewith2: Rainking, you are so right. I did get the chance at a reconcilliation with my stbx. We tried it for a year and half. It wasn't the same. I knew from early on that it wasn't the same.
You mentioned how everything had changed, things weren't the same as the day you wed. That's exactly what kept passing through my thoughts. Too much had happened to fully regain what was once there.
When you rip up a piece of paper, then glue it back together, even if you do your best to line it up as perfect as you can, the tears are still there...
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