Re: Paronia or Reality - your mate checking out others. Your thoughts, please. Fendann: [quote author=Narcissist link=topic=34560.msg360742#msg360742 date=1158099396">
All guys look at porn, it's just the way we are. If you say you don't you're probably not being very honest.
Guys just look, same as above.
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Well, I can seriously say that I've watched only two pr0n movies in my entire life....neither of which I can say was very interesting....though we do use racey cards to play poker with on bowling night, so I can kinda agree with you there, Narc....
Regardless, Spike is right, in my humble opinion...It's ok to look, but not oggle. There is a big difference between glancing at a beautiful woman walking by than staring at the woman with her tight shirt and short skirt....boobs hangin out....nips showing through her shirt.....Man, I need another shower....
Re: Paronia or Reality - your mate checking out others. Your thoughts, please. BigSky: All guys look at porn, it's just the way we are. If you say you don't you're probably not being very honest.
Guys just look, same as above.
Re: Paronia or Reality - your mate checking out others. Your thoughts, please. big_daddy: Quite honestly, I'm not sure it is always possible to not look. We see beautiful things, we look at them. We see a nice car, we look at it. We see football on the TV in the store we are walking through, we look at it. We see a beautiful woman, we look at her.
The difference though is, I may go test drive a car like the one I saw. I may go buy tickets to the next football game. I'm not going to go any further than an admiring glance with the woman. There is a very distinct difference.
When I'm in a relationship, my significant other is just as it says, significant. The woman who caught me eye, she is just an "other", there is no significance there at all.
This is all in assumption that other aspects of the relationship are healthy of course, because in order for the trust and respect to be there in order for this understanding to work....it has to be.
Re: Paronia or Reality - your mate checking out others. Your thoughts, please. DarrenB: [quote author=changeisgood link=topic=34560.msg360719#msg360719 date=1158095308">
I think it is natural to look. Your insecurity on this subject is going to create problems in your relationship. Please try to understand that this is normal unless he has given you reason to supect otherwise.
As far as the porn goes some people like to look at it. I used to freak out when I looked at my husbands computer and found that he was looking at it. I mentioned my frustrations to a few of my friends and was completely surprised that their husbands ocassionally look at it to. I think if we push so mush that the other person will start to hide things and it causes a downward spiral of no trust.
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All good points. it's paranoia. Don't strangle the guy just for being a guy. It is mostly your insecurities here that you have to worry about. If he feels like mommy is watching everything he does and that he cant be trusted(due to your previous issues) the relationship will be doomed.
Granted this is providing that your bf does not go about these things in a disrespectful way as chaotic has mentioned.
Re: Paronia or Reality - your mate checking out others. Your thoughts, please. snkpack: It doesn't bother me. If you can, I say let is slide. Looking and fantasizing do not equal infidelity.
