Re: Do they hurt too? Balist: This is one of the last issues I am trying to deal with and it sucks! My stbxw just become instantly emotionless when she left me for the OM. Apparently, that relationships wasn't going too well and about a month after the fact, she kind of lost it and was upset, angry the usual crap. However, she never expressed regret or apologized. In fact, over a week ago, I had to deal with some emails about stuff left in the house and I replied I would be a little more accomodating if she had expressed any remorse/regret and her response was " I don't regret any of my actions."
Downright mean but that is what she has become. My therapist doesn't believe her and believes that she is just putting up a front to hurt me. Whatever the case, I don't think she will ever apologize and maybe she did a hurt a bit but she justifies her leaving me by the fact that after I filed for divorce, I told everyone that she had an affair and aborted my child. Her response was that if I truly did love her, I wouldn't hurt her like that ::)
Ahhh, she was the one that had the affair and the abortion and when I wailed in pain, I'm the bad one. Whatever. I'm better without her but it now seems while I am still hurting, she is going out with new friends and enjoying her new life. That hurts.
Re: Do they hurt too? tripny2k6: Dude, after what she has done to you she may not be remorsful. She sounds like the antichrist to me. Maybe shes the sister of my ex.
Re: Do they hurt too? vdc_1975: My wife has known for months that I wanted out. I moved out on Sunday. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. It hurts both parties, but I dont doubt that the person left hurts more.
When there is no abuse or infidelity, its rough on the leaver as well. A HUGE part of your life is over, and that makes the leaver sad.
When the leaver has OM/OW it appears they dont seem to care at all about leaving. Who knows, I hope I never find out. :-\
Re: Do they hurt too? ctrlaltdelete: Eventually you won't care at all if they hurt too. Honestly, what's the point? Does it change the situation if they're hurting too? My ex had regrets that he told me about later, but it really didn't change anything that had happened or how much I hurt. Move on and eventually they will just become a distant memory.
Re: Do they hurt too? vdc_1975: [quote author=justmenow link=topic=34563.msg362255#msg362255 date=1158252124">
Eventually you won't care at all if they hurt too. Honestly, what's the point? Does it change the situation if they're hurting too? My ex had regrets that he told me about later, but it really didn't change anything that had happened or how much I hurt. Move on and eventually they will just become a distant memory.
[/quote">
She will always hold a special place in my heart, even after years, if our seperation is indeed permanent. I care that she hurts, but I cant override the pain I have been in by being with someone for the wrong reasons who I dont love.
At a certain point, you have to make yourself happy before you can try to make ANYONE else happy.
No one can change how much anyone hurts, only time will. Well, and a good therapist. ;)
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