Re: Do they hurt too? Rain: I left my ex(to be i guess) in May, after almost 5 years of marriage. We met online in a chatroom, 4 months after my mother passed away, and 2 months after me and my previous husband seperated. We lived together for 8 months before getting married. We had a huge communication problem, with each other and him with (my) kids. My children grew to love him, but he never would believe it. We fought at least 4 times a week and over the goofiest things, but I still loved him no matter what he said or done to me, until the end of May. He slapped me in the face, threw me in the floor and i slid into the kitchen cabinet and busted up my arm, I then rose up looked at him and said "that will be the last time you ever hit me". He told me to leave, so I waited until after my daughter's graduation and moved 1000 miles back to my hometown. He did not even tell my children good-bye :'( and since May the only correspondence I have had from him was a letter he wrote me in July telling me how we were not meant for each other and he would be filing for divorce soon based on "incompatibility"....I still love and miss him so much, have cried a thousand tears, and I too have wondered if I ever meant anything to him, and is he sad and lonely like I am :'( :'([color=maroon"> [/color">
Re: Do they hurt too? gabefredrick: Thanks for all of the replies. I guess when you are left, you immediately assume the worst: that you are ultimately forgettable and nothing special. In a strange way I feel empathy towards my ex, because even though I am still angry over her leaving, I don't want her to suffer this pain.
The pain of a broken heart is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. If an army could harness the power of it, they could conquer the whole of the earth without ever firing a shot.
peace
Re: Do they hurt too? madmax: Thanks 'sosad' and 'fly' for the leaver perspective. My wife appeared to have zero emotion at court a couple days ago. After reading your posts, I think it was probably just a front she was putting on. That's what everyone has told me but it's tough to believe...especially since they are not her. But you've worn those shoes so that makes it more believable.
Depending on the circumstance of course (abuse, etc), I wonder why people leave if it is so painful? As it pertains to my case, the resulting pain on both parties from this divorce is far more extreme than the effort it would take to work things out.
I guess I just don't understand why someone would choose inflicting/receiving that much pain instead of 'making things work'.
Re: Do they hurt too? tiger1: I do not think so! My soon to be X leaves me for 22 year olds hooker after 22 years married, and he so pround to go everywhere with her (young chick). He used all our saving to pay for her apartment, clothes and never regret
Re: Do they hurt too? darkrose: I don't know if my stbxw (she left me) is hurting and honestly I don't care. I can say that she has been a lot more...somber around me since she was served with the divorce papers.
I've cried more tears for her I than I care to divulge, but I realize now that she's just not worth the tears anymore. I have some great friends who have shown me that she wasn't good enough for me, and they are very much right. She wasn't my intellectual or even my emotional equal. *I* deserve better than what she could ever imagine giving me.
I have set some goals over the past couple of weeks and I am honestly too busy doing the single dad thing and working to achieve those goals to worry about if she's hurting or not. She'll be hurting soon enough if she's not, and when she tries to get me to take her back, I'll be unavailable.
(wow, I'm really bitter, aren't I...)
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