Tired of the dark side,,,,think I'll try the FUN side? This could be trouble!!! Dana: I havent posted in quite awhile. Had our DSL down so you know how that goes. My husband is doing great with the counselling and working well with wanting to make this marriage work. Now I feel like the problem. I spent so much of my time this last 11.5 yrs. trying to get his shit together for him that now that is is, I feel like mine is wacky. I'm the one not careing about anything and I'm even thinking about cheating because I feel like I missed out on the fun when he was cheating behind my back. Not to mention I just don't care right now. I love him deeply and I'm in love with him but theres this bitterness that came with his affairs that I feel I need to get even with. Like I want to act like I'm single again and forget the house payments and bills. I want to go out and drink. get crazy not care who sees what or says what and have a few kick ass nights of cutting loose and having sex with the men I find to be hotties but where off limits before because I was married. I know these actions are wrong I was just wondering if anyone else felt this and how they dealt with them
Re: Tired of the dark side,,,,think I'll try the FUN side? This could be trouble!!! sosad05: [quote"> I love him deeply and I'm in love with him but theres this bitterness that came with his affairs that I feel I need to get even with. [/quote">
I think this is the danger of taking someone back that has cheated on you without forgiving them 100% and being okay with it. Think about the pain you felt from his cheating. Do you want him to also feel that pain if you decided to go out and start hooking up with guys at the bar? Is that the kind of marriage you want to be in...keeping score of who can do what to who.
I think you should talk to your husband asap that you are having those thoughts and to the therapist. It seems that those thoughts would be natural if you are looking to get revenge on him for what he did to you. However, thats not the way to make a marriage work.
Re: Tired of the dark side,,,,think I'll try the FUN side? This could be troubl lnlsban: Just my experience I knew my marriage was over and I did exectly that (except with a girl) and I actually felt horrible about it. If you are trying to make the marriage work then you should talk to your counseler about it.
Not only would you hurt him but you would also hurt your marriage. You don't need that now.
Re: Tired of the dark side,,,,think I'll try the FUN side? This could be trouble!!! pharmer: My wife had a short-lived affair which I forgave. She claims it was just a few phone calls and a lunch date but I think sometimes it was more than that. I reached the stage where I thought of revenge in the form of an affair. I still do think of this. If I did anything however, it wouldn’t take away what she did. Would it make me feel better – honestly I don’t know. I love my wife a lot but I struggle with this.
There is a reason you are having these feelings. Maybe you are having second thoughts about your decision to take him back. I know it’s difficult to look at someone you love and think that they were with someone else. Someone who made them happy, someone they chose to be with instead of you.
I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.
