feeling lonley and empty shpek: Ojars,
It's been just over 2 months for me since my X up and left. Ive been doing all i can to recover and get back to myself. I'm finding it really hard going through another break up.
Anyways, I dont know if it's my age (36 - almost 37) but being single again and losing something/someone i thought I was going to marry really has been tough to get over.
I read books, listen to audio tapes, see my therapist etc. My therapist said I am doing a little better eventhough i may not see it or feel it. But man, i feel the loss of this relationship so much and I'm back at a place (being single again) which is the last place i want to be! Yet here I am and i'm trying to deal with it the best i know how but it's so damn hard.
Is it just the fact that I am still recovering and need some more time? I know you cant rush these things. I've just been really feeling the emptiness/lonliness and it has me down. If anyone could share their story or feelings on this, someting that may just help pick me up a little, i'd really appreciate it.
thanks...
Re: feeling lonley and empty faraday: oh sweetie, I am so sorry- I am here if you want to talk- I truly know how you feel as do many others here- you are not alone
Re: feeling lonley and empty abandoned1: shpek,
I am almost exactly your age - however I did get married, and I waited this long to be sure I picked the right woman - actually she picked me, she asked me to get married. Anyway... Of course I got it wrong, and she up and left for another "man" - I use that term loosely. I was/am devestated, but I am a few more months out than you, and I feel much, much better. I am finally close to my old self - although I'll never be my old self again, I'm definately a different person post-marriage. It takes time getting used to be alone and single again. And in my case it has taken months, and I'm still not quite there yet - but close! It does definately get better with time. Do you have problems with motivation for doing anything? I have been battling that for this whole time. There are plenty of things I like to do - I just can't find the motivation due to my depression (God, I hate that word, it has such a negative connotation in my mind - never thought I'd use that to describe myself). I am, however, finally actually beginning to find some motivation again, slowly, but surely. Again it's time. I've posted this before because it stuck with me once I read it somewhere else here on the OJAR board, and that person said:
"fake it, until you make it."
Meaning just go out and do stuff. Anything with anyone is what I've done, so as to not just sit around my half-empty (because half went to her) apartment being depressed and feeling sorry for myself - not healthy. Once you're out there, your mind is distracted by other things and other people - and you may actually meet someone new, who can bring out the happiness in you again, whether it be romantic or otherwise (friendship).
Best of luck to you!
And keep posting!
Abandoned1
Re: feeling lonley and empty shpek: faraday - thanks for writing. i almost feel pathetic being so down and unhappy. it's not like me. this is NOT my personality. i'm a sensative guy and all but usually very positive and happy. i HATE feeling like this. I keep telling myself it's time, time... i wish i could rush through this but i dont think thats possible. from what ive read you just have to walk right through the pain. does that make sense? where are you in your situation?
Re: feeling lonley and empty CDNgurl: Hi shpek,
Two months isn't very long at all. We all heal at our own pace.
What I found helped me was reminding myself that I was not put on this earth for my ex. It was a quote I found and it helped. It sounds like you are being pro-active in your healing and that will take you a long way. Find a quote, an activity, something/anything that serves as a source of strength for you... and most of all, be kind and patient with yourself.
Hugs.
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