Re: feeling lonley and empty big_daddy: [quote author=shpek link=topic=34586.msg361069#msg361069 date=1158159394">
faraday - thanks for writing. i almost feel pathetic being so down and unhappy. it's not like me. this is NOT my personality. i'm a sensative guy and all but usually very positive and happy. i HATE feeling like this. I keep telling myself it's time, time... i wish i could rush through this but i dont think thats possible. from what ive read you just have to walk right through the pain. does that make sense? where are you in your situation?
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If you rush through it, you aren't going to deal with it how you truly need to. Everyone gets through this at their own pace. There is no set timeline. Take each day one at a time, and eventually you will start to see where you are going.
My personal opinion is that you shouldn't try to mask the pain, the hurt, or anything that goes along with it. Don't let it consume you, but at the same time...as weird as it may sound, embrace it. It is a critical component of the healing process, you have to work through it, so that in the end you are a stronger and better person than you were before this all began.
Its gonna be okay shpek, you'll get through it, in your own time. Hang in there.
Re: feeling lonley and empty Fjord Girl: These stages are the worst, but you have to go through them and then one day you'll be able to appreciate the lessons learned. I'm sorry, I really am. Having been where you are only makes me understand the limits of human suffering and all I wish for you is strength. Patience must become your best friend now, especially patience toward yourself.
Don't be afraid to talk, we all are here for you. Big hugs!
Re: feeling lonley and empty shpek: abandoned1 - thanks for writing too. you being close to my age i bet you can really understand where I'm at. i'm sorry you had to go through you situation. you're probably like me that I dont like bars and definately not clubs to hang out in. at our age we're looking to settle down and all. yet here we are single again. almost like feeling lost a bit. i think the age factor has something to do with it.
but you have been right where i am? yes, my motivation is not so good. i used to work out all the time. i simply dont have the energy to do it. i made a promise to myself that i will gat back to it when i have a bit more energy and higher spirits. i know it's good for me but am not there yet. how long were you with your X?
I'm in a band as well. I'm still doing that because its something i like and i have an obligation to the other guys... plus i'm not going to let some girl take that away from me. But i'm not my happy self, even when i'm playing. I can get the job done but i'm just not fully me yet.
So it really WILL get better? I've been through break ups b4 but i think going through another one, at my age, and she was so cold about the whole thing after i put so much effort into it, has really knocked me down.
I'm not a negative person by any means and i dont like the fact that i am in a negative state at all. Maybe its just part of the process of recovering? I'm trying to fake it as best i can but i'm not a good faker.
I visit family alot and play with the band, maybe grab somethign to eat witha friend but i try not to sit home alot by myself. Although i need to get used to that at the same time.
Thanks so much for posting... I guess I need some help/reassurance that I will survive this dark time and things will get better...
Re: feeling lonley and empty shpek: You are all so kind... I can't thank you enough for taking time out to talk. This is one of the few places I can reallylet go and talk about how i feel and what's going on with me.
CDNgurl - how long did it take you to get back to yourself?
Fjord Girl - same question
I know its different for everyone but the more info you all share helps alot
Re: feeling lonley and empty CDNgurl: [quote author=shpek link=topic=34586.msg361095#msg361095 date=1158160454">
CDNgurl - how long did it take you to get back to yourself?
I know its different for everyone but the more info you all share helps alot
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I'm not the same person I was anymore... but I like this me better. I'm kinder, stronger, more compassionate.
For the hurt to stop though... I think I was out of my mind for a good 6 months - no joke. I still have my bad days, but my last "cry" over him was in April (ran into him with his new baby at toys r us - broke down after that back in my car). I really thought I would be the one person who never gets over it... but with determination and the support of friends I have.
I really feel for you shpek. I have been there - despair so deep that you swear there is no way the world can't feel it. Give yourself as much time as you need. We are here for you.
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