I am very confused and could use advice faraday: So some know the story and some of you know what happened the other night- came home and told me how much he missed me and things progressed......next morning nothing has changed but he is being nice and calling me honey and asking me if it is ok for him to go out etc....so he calls at lunch and says he has a meeting with guy he going to do work with Saturday- out of town. I said cool no problem- love you- no love you back.... then he calls me back and says that he might have spend night on Saturday- but that he would be with this guy (former boss)- so I said ok do what you need to- but I am confused - am I just dumb to think he is confused too? Is it stupid to hope maybe he is changing his mind? Or is he playing me and really isn't going to work but spending nite with OW- which I don't belive he has done yet- what should I do?
And on top of that, I don't qualify for Legal Aid- I make too much but not enough for regular lawyer- great-
Don't think I am naive about my chances to save my marriage please but I really want to try but I am scared he is lying just to appease me
And it hurts
Re: I am very confused adn could use advice hr: I don't know your husband. IMO he is not changing his mind. He seems stuck in transition. You are still there for him and are willing. He is playing you, maybe not intentionally but he is only thinking of himself and not considering what he is doing to you. He is hurting you every step of the way. It is now your choice what you want to do with that. I know you love him, but sometimes we have to say I don't want to sit home and cry all weekend because of what the other person is doing. Are you truly happy when he is with you, or do you feel alone when he is next to you? I wish so much that you had someone close to you to spend time with you so this wouldn't be so hard.
Re: I am very confused adn could use advice faraday: It depends- things have been chaos for a while now but when he comes home and I see him I am happy and sometimes it is good- up until this point- I want to save this truly- and I think he may want to based on what he said the other night- but I am not sure and I don't think he is either- it would be different for me if the other night had not happened- if he had never said those things- I had given up hope until then- so now its back and he seems to be trying but is he just trying to keep the peace until he parents come back from vacation? He could just ignore me i suppose- and there are trust issues especially now- so I do not know what to do
I am almost 30- and very book smart but not so great with common sense or intuition- and I am very emotional- not crazy just unable to hide it-
I wish there was someone close by other than my shrink but there isn't - but I have met wonderful people here who have helped and it means so much to me
I guess I was hoping to use you guys as a sounding board due to the fact that I am so confused about this
Re: I am very confused adn could use advice hr: You are doing okay and use this board. I can't even tell you how much it helped. Sometime the actual human contact helps to. I just remember my first time and having no one at all. I know you want this to work with all of your heart. Some people cant be honest. He may truly be working this weekend, but the issue is still there. My husband always avoided my questions or turned it around to make me thinK I was crazy. He sure had a way of manipulating things. I was book smart and my husband was street smart. I have come a long way since I was 18. I was the most naive person. I believed everything I was told. Some people know the right thing to say at the right time. Be careful. Don't take his words at face value. Watch his actions. Not the part time actions the ones that are in the moment. See the whole picture. I am here if you ever want to talk. My heart goes out to you right now.
Re: I am very confused adn could use advice faraday: Thank yo so much- I am trying very hard not to be emotional right now- cause then I will ask him if he really is going to work and that will start a war and then he probably would go to OW- but the ice is really thin right now
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