Re: i hate my life twine: it is so hard to let go of someone that you love, my situation was similiar to yours and it was hard to let go but i think it woulda been harder to continue been her floor mat. You have to decide if the three strikes your out rule is the rule you will follow, keep posting here and reading other posts, we are all here for each other.
TWINE
Re: i hate my life ace1234: hey unsure,
I am new to this site as well and kinda going through the same problems as you (not as severe, no kids) and I feel for ya.
Maybe I'm not one to speak, but, I don't know if I would worry about this guy having any influence on your son. Your boy will probably grow up and realize along the way that this guy is a chump, if he's still around.
I don't think your a moron either. Just probably like me when you took your wedding vows, they actually 'meant' something.
take care.
Re: i hate my life unsure_anymore: everyone,
thank you so much for reading my story and posting your replies. it feels good to know that there are others who care enough to try and give encouragement and advice to someone they don't even know.
as for telling the higher ups at this jerks company, unfortunately i cannot do that because he owns the company.
i think it is a grass is greener scenario my wife is stuck on. is running off with someone who has cheated on his wife with at least 3 people that i know of really a better option than working through your issues with your current partner?
i realize my son will figure out this guy is a jackass. the thing is right now he is 2. when kids are that young they are so innoccent and trusting. it would killl me to see my son develop any type of bond with a lowlife like this guy. and i am sure he would do whatever it takes try and win my son over. this seems like it is a game to him.
what a mess. thank you all so much for listening. i think i am going to stick around here for awhile.
i hate my life unsure_anymore: hello all,
i have been reading these forums for a few weeks now. as odd as it may seem, it helps me knowing that i am not the only one going through these issues. i have written my story so many times but i end up deleting it before i post. i guess i am finally at a crossroad in my marriage and i can use some advice.
long story short, my wife has been cheating on me on and off for the past 3 years. each time it has been with the same person (her boss at work) i found out for the third time about 3 and a half months ago.
each time i found out we had a blow out over the situation but we always decided to try to work things out. at the time she did seem really remourseful. but then it would happen again.
so after the last time i found out, we both decided to individually go to see a counsellor. once she did this for a few weeks she came and told me she believes she is not happy. she feels we are more like roommates than husband and wife. she says she loved me but is not 'in love' with me. and this other person makes her feel special and beautiful. she says she has never had this feeling in ANY relationship she has ever had.
after another week or so she tells me we should split up and she wants to move out. i beg and plead for her to give me another chance (yeah, figure that one out) but she seems pretty intent on leaving. that weekend she goes and looks at some places but finally decides to stay. since then it has really been a roller coaster ride.
she ended up leaving that job. she realized if she stayed there she would fall back into this. now, 5 weeks later, she still talks to him and he is constantly text messaging her that he loves her. when she put her notice in, he even told her he wants her to be with him and went home and told his wife all about the affair and told her he wanted a divorce. he knows i know about the whole thing yet he is still pushing her to leave me and come be with him. and the thing is that she is still considering it. she has even told him that she needs to cut off all contact with him yet he is still persistent.
this whole thing has had her up and down emotionally (as well as me) the thing is i can see that she really misses this guy even though she says she wants to stay and try and work on our marriage. the problem is that this guy will not give up on contacting her. and that puts her back into a funk becuase, although she hasn't said it to me, i think she really believes she is in love with this person.
so it turns out i am the only one working towards saving our marriage. and i guess i kind of feel like i am digging a hole in the sand. for every one shovel full out, two more go back in. i am trying to stay positive and upbeat, but some days it is REALLY hard. he texts her when he knows i am there just because he knows it is going to start a fight between her and i (that is what i think at least)
so what i have been wondering lately is if it is finally time to give up and let her go? ive been a good little soldier for cupid, but sometimes maybe you are better off waving the white flag and giving up. maybe this guy really is the guy for her. maybe she would be happier with him. in the last three months, there are days when she just seem like she hates me. i try to keep on keepin' on, but i cant say it is easy.
just some background. we have been together for 14 years, married for 7. we have a 2 year old who we both adore (and is most likely the real reason she is staying) we have had our share of problems over the years. and i have accepted 100% of my share of the blame for those problems, and i have apologized, and worked towards correcting those issues. funny how i am the cheated and i am the one with all the problems that need to be fixed.
after all this mess, i still love my wife tremendously. I have gone over this with my therapist and have even tried to convince myself that i am not in love with her. but it always comes back to the fact that i love her very much. i just don't really know what to do at this point. i feel like my whole life is on hold.
Re: i hate my life chaotic: Dude welcome to my boat. I did the same thing. I begged for another chance as if it was something I did that drove her to sleep with another man.
You have taken her back a minimum of 3 times now. Everytime, she continues her old ways.
It is time to think about your self and your own sanity. Cut her loose. Let her have this "winner" of a guy, aka A$$Nut. Look, you did nothing to make her do what she has done. Its time to let her live the life she has made for herself. Do not lower yourself any more.
2 steps
Get a Lawyer
Get a Counselor
Ok 3 steps
Keep reading and posting here. We are here to listen.
