My daily juice... Fendann: I don't really know why things are so hard for me today. I've been crying on and off so often today, that a few people have stopped into my office to see if I'm OK, and my two immediate supervisors have also pulled me aside to have a nice little 20 minute chat with me....
I've been so damn confused for a week now, and just when I thought things were acutally going good for me, I crash.
I thought I was ready to move on with my life....to start making changes and choices....I thought I could handle someone else in my life, someone that would actually care about me and how I feel for a change...I guess that I was wrong...
I feel so crowded, my judgement is clouded...I just can't even think....
When the day is over, and I sit at home sober, my mind wants to drive me to drink....
That's about as close to poetry as I get these days....not that it's really called for...
I understand that everything is almost over now...our paperwork has been filed, all of the support, alimony, etc. has been decided and implemented, custody is done....I just don't understand why my body and brain will not let me go!! GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm torn here, and I really don't know what to do. I had a fantastic weekend, but that seems to be what's causing most of my misery. I thought I was prepared to move on....now I don't know if I will ever be....I'm stuck, and I don't know how to dig myself out. I just feel so scrambled about everything that's going on.
Re: My daily juice... gpiilani: Im sorry to hear that you are having a bad day....Its been 4 months since my seperation, I thought I was doing better too. But I had a panic attack while driving today. I had to pull over for an hour because I couldnt see, breathe, stop shaking. I drove to a hospital just for them to turn me away because I have no insurance. :'( So I am at work, trying to hold things together just like you. Maybe its just in the air....hope you feel better hun...
The day is half way over!!!
Re: My daily juice... JNA: [quote author=LoneFatherOf2 link=topic=34604.msg361586#msg361586 date=1158180178">
I thought I was prepared to move on....now I don't know if I will ever be....I'm stuck, and I don't know how to dig myself out. I just feel so scrambled about everything that's going on.
[/quote">
It fades in and out for a time...
Then back and forth
Then comes a "calm"...
When you reach the calm
You know you are there...
Meaning it is a RollerCoaster ride of emotions good and bad
But...
When you are through the hurt and confusion you will feel calm and happy
Hard to explain in text...
JNA
Re: My daily juice... Fendann: Thanks, you two.
Now, for today's installment....
She can't live her own damn life!!! Out of the divorce, she has::
The apartment
The kids
The big screen TV
The home theater system and all of the extras (DVD, VCR, Consoles)
The entire DVD collection (over 350 movies)
Her car (crappy as it is...)
The bank account, even though it's drained
My DVD burner, my 3 250GB hard drives, and my collection of computer software
The outlook to everyone surrounding both of our families that she was right and I was wrong, that I am the bad guy and her sh!t don't stink...
What did I get? My gaming computer, a 27" GE TV, a GE VCR, my clothes, my bass and acoustic guitar, and my car....
So, what happens this morning? She calls me on her way to work, bitching that her car won't go over 30 and keeps stalling out. I, being the nice guy that I am, offer to take her to work...What does she say, you ask? "Why do you get the good car, and I get this POS? I should have the good car, since I have to drive 45 minutes just to get to work, and I have the kids all the time.".....
I just don't get it. Why is she never happy with anything that I give her? I offered to pay her rent this month (which is $87 more than what I owe her for child support and alimony), but she's still not happy. Calls me up asking for help with her cable bill....being the nice person I am, I offer to help pay it. Now, she wants me to give her my car so she can go to work....as if I don't have MY OWN DAMN JOB TO GO TO EVERY DAY!!
If I give it to her, I would have to ask my parents if I could borrow theirs...now, if I don't, I look like the @$$hole, and she's SOL. Why can't she just ask her own parents to borrow their car? Why can't she ask her parents for money to help with the bills? Why do I always have to be the "nice guy" and help everyone else in the F'ing world out, just so I get screwed....AGAIN!!
Re: My daily juice... Lumpy: Time for you to cut the apron strings. You're divorced! Stop enabling her. If it doesn't involve the kids, it's not your problem.
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