Its our "anniversary" and I am ambivalent... so cruel: Hello all. It has been a while since I wrote about my own situation. I dont stop by Ojar as much as I used to, which, I suppose is a sign of healing. But like a good friend I know that you all are here anytime I need it.
My story is much the same as others...problems in the marriage, a wife who found somebody else, and me left alone in a wake of regret, guilt, depression, and anger. We have been seperated since March, and are putting the final touches on our final agreement. It has been ugly and hurtful and I am looking forward to getting it over with.
I write today, because it is our 4th wedding anniversary, and I am unsure of my own reaction to it. I really feel deeply ambivilant. I am not sad, or upset, and wonder if in time this will become just another day in September. I would like to think of it as a big step in the healing process, but at the same time, I wonder if it is a normal reaction to have...well, no reaction. I suppose the range of "normal" is probably hard to pin down. Nobody has mentioned it to me, even my family, and I cant help but wonder how she is feeling today. Maybe after six months of being further apart than two people could be, we have finally found some common ground. Then again, she is a completely different person than the one I married and I am sure she would take even this day...one that we shared together...and turn it into something ugly.
None of this really matters, but being able to share it with all of you is tremendously helpful to me. Anybody else recently go through anniversary angst? Any advice on how I should commemorate this day? (Cocktails will very much be a part of it!) How much should I share about all of this with my new girlfriend?
Thank you my friends, and keep up the good work!
So Cruel
Re: Its our "anniversary" and I am ambivalent... sosad05: Good for you SC! Last year, I bawled my eyes out on our anniversary day. I was an emotional wreck. I filed in April 05. Our anniversary was June. This last year I anticipated the day. I planned for a day of depression, tears, and agony. One problem happened....I completely missed the day. I realized the day had passed me several days later. So, I guess it gets better with time. I think our anniversary will someday be a very distant memory.
Re: Its our "anniversary" and I am ambivalent... JNA: SC wrote: "I would like to think of it as a big step in the healing process, but at the same time, I wonder if it is a normal reaction to have...well, no reaction. I suppose the range of "normal" is probably hard to pin down."
Yes it is a normal reaction to have with some of us...
Not everyone is the same so we all handle it differently
As far as the normal...
No One is "Normal"
We all have our flaws ok...
No One can define normal
SC wrote: "Then again, she is a completely different person than the one I married and I am sure she would take even this day...one that we shared together...and turn it into something ugly."
Yup my last GF was like that and they are a "treat" per se...
She was the Innocent Victim type
Don't ever meet one of those my friend...
SC wrote: "None of this really matters, but being able to share it with all of you is tremendously helpful to me. Anybody else recently go through anniversary angst?"
Yes...
I did in May of this year and it all sucked to say the least
I know where you are coming from and feel for you...
This shit Hurts ya know
That is all there is to say about it...
Some things are not right no matter what spin someone puts on them
SC wrote: "Any advice on how I should commemorate this day?"
UMMMM...
Bicardi and Rum would be good...LOL
But no kidding...
SC wrote: "How much should I share about all of this with my new girlfriend?"
It depends on how long you have been with her...
Talk to me in PM sometime ok
Stay Strong
JNA
OH BTW...
SC wrote: "I am not sad, or upset, and wonder if in time this will become just another day in September."
Yes...
In time this too shall pass
Re: Its our "anniversary" and I am ambivalent... Kitty: Today is my 8th wedding anniversary.
I have the urge to call my stbxh to acknowledge the day but I know better. He will just have some smart alec comment to make. We have been separated over a year but I am financially unable to get a divorce right now and he is too stingy to help. I think he would allow us to stay married forever if he had to pay for it.
Everything has been settled by the legal separation papers so it's just the dissolve of the marriage that is left to do. I wanted this divorce so badly the past year and it feels as if I have waited so long for it and now with another anniversary coming, as a separated woman, it is so hard.
I was talking to my bf last night and told him what today was, with my sarcastic humor, I said, "Well I guess I won't be getting an anniversary present tomorrow".
I am not sure of my feelings, I just know I feel "off" today. ???
