Re: ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? down2basics: Bound....Bounda.....bound.....ah yes....Boundaries!! Yes - that's it! Boundaries while incredibly necessary are also INCREDIBLY hard to enforce. The one who is subject to the boundaries will fight it - just like he is - which is quite reminiscent of a child of 3!!! Hmph! He definitely needs to get a grip on himself and realize if he wants this relationship to work - he's going to have to think of more than himself! Duh! Hang in there sweetie! It Will Get Better!
Hugs!
d2b
Re: ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? justmenow: Yeah, it'll get better for you and totally SUCK for him. Haha. Won't that be satisfying??!! ;D
Re: ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? JASPER: I thank you for your replies.Boundaries are great if I could just stick to them the sad thing is I've been taking care of his needs for so long it has become a habit of mine.How do you break a 11 year cycle in such a short period of time,how do you stop feeling guilty over things that are not your fault.I just can't seem to get this speration thing right.
Re: ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? grober: Old habits really do die hard. It was difficult for me to let my X fend for herself while we were separated. With time it gets easier. But TRY, TRY, TRY to stick to those boundaries in the meantime.
Remember: No reward for bad behavior. Kinda like training a dog.
Good luck.
Re: ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT? atd74: Jasper,
FoundMe is right - old habits really do die hard. I unfortunately found that being a cold hearted b**** helped me break the cycle. ;D As one of my closest friends on OJAR said to me I am such a "firecracker"!
Being this way has helped me to remain strong and I no longer have a problem standing up to my ex. 8) Just today my ex and I got into another confrontation and he is now attempting to hold my CD collection hostage. (What a child). He's doing this because I won't go chase down more supplies for him to finish making his copies. ::) Mind you I even offered to pay for half the supplies because he's doing all the copying but for some reason he still thinks I'm his gopher (you know, go-for this and go-for that).
He proceeded to come to my work and confront me (psycho) about this and when he told me, "THIS IS WHY WE LEFT EACH OTHER..." I lost it and I reminded him that "NO. THIS IS WHY I LEFT YOU." He of course rebutted by spewing, "I'M GLAD I CHEATED ON YOU." I then of course flicked him my right hand middle finger - you know - the one where my beautiful newly reset wedding ring sits prominently. :-*
If I never see my poor CD collection again I'll be happy because I won't have to deal with that turd ever again. But I don't have a problem anymore standing up to him for what I believe in and he can't hurt me anymore, he can't walk all over me anymore.
Sometimes, you just have to suck it up and be a FIRECRACKER!
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