Advice please- am I just being an idiot? faraday: So last night we went out to have drinks and talk- he does not want a divorce per se but does not want to fight anymore- well hell neither do I. I told him the reasons why I thought it would be different such as my therapy and stuff- that I understood what I did wrong and why and that if I loved him I could never do those things again- we ended up by the lake snuggling etc...and he said he would think about trying one more time- YEAH! So then when we get home, I open the car door and a card falls out that says to B I love you- and he got mad and snatched it away- he says it is from OW daughter but she is 9- she can't write it herself? He says it is nothing....AM I just being stupid and naive?
I want so much to believe that we can make this work and have the marriage we should have had in the first place but what about this? Should I look for this card to read it or is that wrong?
I am confused and could use any advice out there- thanks for listening to me once again
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? lilly10: faraday,
It is important that you do not carry all the blame, and make all the promises to change, and so forth. I'm sure there are things about you that you want to change and it is very healthy to be able to identify these traits, but he is the one with the OW! Do I think you are being naive, no, but I think you are holding on to any bit of hope that he gives you. I would not believe that story about her 9 year old for a minute. A 9 year old in normal circumstances is very capable of writing herself. Try not to go searching for the card, what's inside could be very hurtful to read. He is stringing you along right now, keeping you on the back burner. I think they do that out of there own fears of being alone. If in fact that card was from him to the OW, and he is telling her he loves her then it may be time for you to really think about letting go. I know how hard this is for you and of course you want to believe what he tells you but his excuses reek of lies.
Good Luck!!
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? faraday: I am afraid you may be right but then why would he say he would try? The card was from OW to him- and i warned him in the beginning that she love dhim and he said I was being crazy- I want to believe him when he tells me he loves me and wants our family but I don't know what ot make of this and I feel the heart wrenching break looming ever closer
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? lilly10: [quote author=faraday link=topic=35003.msg368360#msg368360 date=1158929084">
I am afraid you may be right but then why would he say he would try? The card was from OW to him- and i warned him in the beginning that she love dhim and he said I was being crazy- I want to believe him when he tells me he loves me and wants our family but I don't know what ot make of this and I feel the heart wrenching break looming ever closer
[/quote">
I don't know why they say all these things to keep us hanging. Guilt, I guess :-\. My ex told me he wanted to try and at the time I wanted so bad for that to be the case. In my heart I knew he really didn't want to try, I could feel that he didn't want to. When my whole situation went down I would ask my ex questions and there were certain answers I wanted to hear, he would tell me those answers, and there I would stay in denial. Finally instead of asking him and waiting for his BS answer I said, I know you don't want me anymore and I need to begin healing, lets do what we have to do. My heart was broken in a million pieces that day but I was no longer hanging on to something that I was never going to get back.
How long does he need to think about things? Try to stop walking on egg shells, tell him you need to know where things stand. Be ready for the worst case scenerio. Tell him it is not fair to keep you hanging and you need to know how to prepare for you future with him or without him. Don't be afraid of demanding an answer you deserve to know!! (this is just my suggestion) Being in limbo sucks and the sooner you get out this the sooner you can begin to heal.
I'm sorry you have be in this situation. Do not blame yourself for everything.
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? jannette Garcia: Faraday...the only way there's a chance at it is if he COMPLETELY cuts of this woman, if not, dont even try, it wont work, you'll resent him forever.
Click More for the next page.
