Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? jannette Garcia: [quote author=faraday link=topic=35003.msg368473#msg368473 date=1158933709">
Why does my head completely understand and agree with what you are saying and my heart is saying something completely different? Does the indecision ever stop? Wil I ever come to a point where it is enough?
I am sorry for ranting today- I was so happy when he said he would think about it and now...
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You're heart doesnt agree because you love him. But you know what, in a situation like this, you have to go with your head, you heart doesnt think, it just loves or hates. And you know what the indecision does stop, and TRUST ME you'll have enough. That's what happened to me, and you know what he came back and now we're working things out, but his friends (which were our problem) are no longer his friends. It was either his friends or me. If he was still hang out with his friends I would've never in a million years taken him back, because I did have enough, to the point where I completely ignored my heart and went with my head.
Hang in there, and dont let him have his cake and eat it too, it's you or her, period.
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? Feel: [quote author=faraday link=topic=35003.msg368350#msg368350 date=1158926901">
So last night we went out to have drinks and talk- he does not want a divorce per se but does not want to fight anymore- well hell neither do I. I told him the reasons why I thought it would be different such as my therapy and stuff- that I understood what I did wrong and why and that if I loved him I could never do those things again- we ended up by the lake snuggling etc...and he said he would think about trying one more time- YEAH! So then when we get home, I open the car door and a card falls out that says to B I love you- and he got mad and snatched it away- he says it is from OW daughter but she is 9- she can't write it herself? He says it is nothing....AM I just being stupid and naive?
I want so much to believe that we can make this work and have the marriage we should have had in the first place but what about this? Should I look for this card to read it or is that wrong?
I am confused and could use any advice out there- thanks for listening to me once again
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wow... Far, get out of there, he knows and is geting advice from people and the lawyer about how screwed he will be... he is keeping you on a string!
If the card was nothing, why take it away?
why get angry about it?
why not just explain it, nicely?
Far, I'm telling you as everyone here told me, he is putting you in the LIMBO state and it is gonna hurt more later... if you want to fix it, get out and let him truly see what he has lost.
Come on an I LOVE U card from the daughter, what about his daughter, hoe damb long has he known this OW for her daughter to love him alreday?
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? jannette Garcia: [quote author=Feel link=topic=35003.msg368512#msg368512 date=1158934598">
[quote author=faraday link=topic=35003.msg368350#msg368350 date=1158926901">
So last night we went out to have drinks and talk- he does not want a divorce per se but does not want to fight anymore- well hell neither do I. I told him the reasons why I thought it would be different such as my therapy and stuff- that I understood what I did wrong and why and that if I loved him I could never do those things again- we ended up by the lake snuggling etc...and he said he would think about trying one more time- YEAH! So then when we get home, I open the car door and a card falls out that says to B I love you- and he got mad and snatched it away- he says it is from OW daughter but she is 9- she can't write it herself? He says it is nothing....AM I just being stupid and naive?
I want so much to believe that we can make this work and have the marriage we should have had in the first place but what about this? Should I look for this card to read it or is that wrong?
I am confused and could use any advice out there- thanks for listening to me once again
[/quote">
wow... Far, get out of there, he knows and is geting advice from people and the lawyer about how screwed he will be... he is keeping you on a string!
If the card was nothing, why take it away?
why get angry about it?
why not just explain it, nicely?
Far, I'm telling you as everyone here told me, he is putting you in the LIMBO state and it is gonna hurt more later... if you want to fix it, get out and let him truly see what he has lost.
Come on an I LOVE U card from the daughter, what about his daughter, hoe damb long has he known this OW for her daughter to love him alreday?
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Ha!!! Very good point!!! I didnt even think of that!!! OMG yes why does her daughter tell him she loves him!!!! He must have known her for a while!!!!! Faraday! run now while you still can!!!! ughhhhh what a jerk!!! >:(
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? newts: Hey FAR,
I would find it hard to believe him, however, 9 year olds can write, probably not as well as you and I, who is to say the OW woman didn't write on the front the card?
I think your ex is extremely confused and I would suggest not snuggling with him until he is definite he wants you, however, you had a good night didn't you?
Re: Advice please- am I just being an idiot? Feel: Far,
You said he told you that he isn't dealing with her? if so, what happened that time he made that phone call infront of you? GET MAD!
To get mad will help you see clearer, think of your daughter and what you would want for her? What if she were you, what advice would you give her?
Not to mention... why would a 9 year old tell a man her mom is see on a minimul basis that she loves him.... THE LIES, the lies.
They get better, and wait a little while when he starts calling you crazy and you actually beleive it... your mind will play tricks on you and you will start going insane.
By him doing tis too you, it will affect your mind more so than it already is... Watch, he will leave for a night, blame you for the night and blame you for it, then it will lead to him telling you she is crazy and himtelling her your crazy! HE will make it look your insane to her that's why your still living there or even tell her you have some mental issues cause of your past and he can't just leave you yet.... FUCK you both and meanwhile he is making you fear an argument with him so that he doesn't have to answer to you and then he'll play her the same way!
Listen to me, you need to know that evn when he looks into your desperate eyes and he is showing you his true I LOVE U's, it may be so, but when your not there someone else will bill filling your void, not to mention you filling her's when she aint around. this is what happens when cheaters are being aloud to cheat, and become so selfish taht they can't keep up with themselves and there lies anymore and they themselves begin to have short fuses and you end up blaming yourself for it once again.
ALL BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM AND ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT THEIR ABUSE, JUST SO THEY DON'T LEAVE!
Far, you have been thru to much to deserve his treatment since he knows about everything you have been thru. If anything he should want nothing more than to be your protector and even tho you may have been a bitch or whatever, he should as a husband and friend, made sure you had been helped thru the proper channels adn not have expected you to get by on your own!
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