Re: commitment wally188: real good post....what i dont understand is how these people can abondon their marriage over spilt milk issues and still claim to be good christians. Give me a break. Its not for better or until i get tired.
Re: commitment BeatenNotBroken: This post is the way i think exactly. Very good.
Re: commitment galil: WOW, what a good post man.
Here is the thing though, I agree with 100 percent. Unfortunatly these behaviors are learned. theses type of people have no clue about what they are jumping into and in the end are doomed to repeat there mistakes.
You can talk to them until you are blue in the face and in the end you mine as well been talking to a brick wall. They are incapable of listening and it is much easier to point the finger at someone else than look at themselves.
Trust me I know, it took me many years to finaly see that I had contributed alot to the failure of my first marriage. Maybe more so than my ex did. sometimes in those cases those people just finaly can't cope with our behavior and they do bizaar things. Not making exuses for there actions, but they are humans and everyone has there own limitations on how they can cope.
Good post I agree, but remember we need to look at ourselves as well, we may the ones pushing these people to the absoulte limits of what they can take, and then, POOF, they are gone. :-\
I know, I have now been on both sides. ad I have to say it is much worse being on the side I am on now. I always thought karma woud come back to my ex. In reality I am now on the receiving end of what my first wife received from me. How she stayed with me so many years is a testament to the person she was. And she was the one to leave me :-\
Re: commitment asd.me: I totally agree with this, unfortunately our society is a throw away society. It is all over the TV, radio, newspaper, daily lives. Now when people ask how long you've been married and you answer longer than 5 years, a lot of people ask To the same person?
Divorce affects entire families and our society. It is not the right answer in alot of times either. I wish my husband would see this but it seems that in his mind, he is tired of me and wants to see what else is out there. While i am left trying to hold myself and our 3 kids up.
We made a promise and i kept mine but he doesn't seem to want to keep his. guess we will see.
We need more people in out society to believe in marriage for a lifetime not until the going gets tough or you get bored
Re: commitment gdaisygirl: I agree with your post mboyd but I have to say for myself that I was totally commited in my marriage..even through my husband having an affair I stayed in my marriage and wanted to work things out. I believe that when you take those vows your are pledging for better or worse.
Unfortunately for many people it is not easy to hang in there through the hurdles. I found that my x was always quick to bail when there was a hurdle. He didn't like to communicate which is a major factor in having a good relationship of any kind. And of course I am not saying that I was perfect but I can say that I never bailed and I hung in there through the good and bad.
Now that things are said and done I am happier and I'm also happy knowing that my x can move on and find his own happiness.
Gdaisy
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