One I'm definitely not sending.. darkrose: Ok, this is one I'm definitely not sending because..well.. you'll see.. has a lot of things I want to say to her..
S.,
So here we are again, I get off the phone with the lawyers and we're talking about settlement. WE will be sending you a settlement offer. I'm giving you more than what you asked for because I want this over. If you fight me on this, you will lose it all because I'd rather go to trial and let the judge decide than to let my son stay with your mother.
This morning, when I asked you if L. had clothes at wherever you're staying tonight, you asked me how things were going..And I told you things were fine because I didn't want you to know things are nearly perfect. I mean, if I didn't have to deal with you anymore, they'd be absolutely perfect.
You also asked me if I'm seeing someone, something I told you was none of your business. Well since I'm not going to send this to you, I'll let you know what's going on..There are 3 women in my life right now. Yes. Three. They all know about each other and they all are happy with the situation so far. Only two are in the running for my heart, but the third has her own place.
But let's talk about M. for a second, as she is currently the front-runner for my heart and has taken a strong lead. She has sat in silence for 7 years while I made the biggest mistake of my life --you know, taking you seriously, marrying you, all that fun stuff... She sent me a scan of a letter she wrote to you and one she wrote to me on our wedding day.
Yours, in short, says that you better take care of me and you'll have your hands full doing it because I'm a hell of a man and I deserve nothing less than the best you can give me (lol. you SO failed in that, didn't you..) She said she was a little jealous of you, but she was happy that she saw that you made me happy. It was short, sweet, and to the point.
Mine, however was not. It was long, rambly...but the jist of the letter was that she wished that she was the one standing by my side, wearing a beautiful white wedding gown, that I slipped the ring on her finger, that her and I were married, not you and I. She said the thought of me coming home to you every day made her sob like a baby, and she just wished she hadn't messed everything up 9 years ago between us..
She told me as I was reading and crying myself that the reason she never sent it, the reason she never said anything was because I appeared to be happy and it wasn't her place to send such a thing. And then she dropped the bomb: She has always loved me, she's hid her feelings away for almost 10 years now, and she wants a second chance with me..
And I'm inclined to give it to her. Maybe now that the fog from my life has cleared, I see that I didn't fully let her go either. A little, teeny, tiny ember burns for her and in the coming months I'm pretty sure that ember will be stoked a bit..I can't say I love her, but then again, I can't say I *DON'T* love her. I know you don't like her (actually, I'm pretty certain "hate" would be an understatement for you), but you know..you have no power or control over me, and if you don't like her, tough.
You wouldn't like the other two either. H., as you know is beautiful, smart, witty, and hates you for trying to get me to stop talking to her. I have a crush on her. :) B., well you don't know her, but she's confident, sexy, and treats me the way I should be treated. Nothing will ever come of B., and I in a relationship, but we're going to have fun for a while. She loves my honesty, my integrity, and the way I make her feel when I touch her.
So, you wanted to know what's up with my love life? There it is. 3 women who all treat me better than you ever did, 2 of which have a real chance to earn my love and capture my heart.
