i could really use some help, or just a friend mobprincess427: I guess this is where I post all about my heartache.
Thats exactly what it is- heartache.
Ive been in relationships before and none of them ended well, but this one was different.
I met Tommy through myspace to tell u the truth. but he friended me and seemed nice. Hes 8 years older then me, but ive always been attracted to older guys. We started talking on the fone, and one night, i was at a party and invited him. He drove an hour and a half at 1 am to come meet me. i knew he was a sweetheart.
We got hooked on eachother really quickly. but it seemed right. within a few weeks tommy practically moved in with me and my family, oh yea- im 18. but dont hold that against me. anyways, my family loves him, hes a great fit.
Tommy was very upfront with me and told me almost right away that he was on Methadone. he had a really bad problem with heroin. He used to use and deal almost everything. but he went through rehab and detox and got on the methadone program.
i didnt know anything about methadone, so of course i went home and looked it up. i was actually happy he was one methadone b.c. it was helping him stay clean.
We had a really good summer, he brought me roses, his old stuffed animals, he treated me perfect. I got mono and he took care of me. he did everything right.
Then i went to college, i was an hour and a half away from him. he wanted to be with me, and be near me. but he couldnt afford it because is ex put him in major debt. That story is way too long to post this time. Tommys methadone costs over 800 a month, so there was no way he could move closer like he wanted to.
things really started to get shitty between us. he started trying to detox from his methadone in order to get more money, against my advice and the advice of his councelor at the clinic. at this same time he lost his job and a million other thigns. he turned into a different person. whenever he dropped his dose, he would turn into a monster. hed get mad at EVERY little thing, we were fighting constantly, he treated me really badly.
after the last big fight i finally told him that if he didnt get some serious help - i oculdnt stay. he was tearing me apart. So he did. he went to his councelor at the clinic. his councelor doesnt think hes ready to have a girlfriend. but tommy refused to break up with me b.c. he loved me. so his councelor
he totally blindsided me with this idea last night. he started off saying that his councelor said he wouldnt stay clean if he was with me.. i got so upset b.c. it was extremely unexpected. he doenst wanna see me for a while and im really hurt. i love him and idk what to do without him, im completely attached. i cant stop crying and im just so depressed. i dont want him to have this tme away from me and meet someone else, someone who doesnt make him mad all the time. i dont want him to forget about me. he says he wont, im just so worried. what should i do?
I would love to get feed back from someone, anyone. it would be great if someone who knew about methadone and its effects would talk to me. even if u dont, i could really use a friend. please help me
Re: i could really use some help, or just a friend jannette Garcia: If he's counselor told him that he needs to be single right now, is probably because he does need to be single. Just give him the time.....if its meant to be it'll happen...dont stress so much over it...focus on school.....Dont stop going to school over this......I know exactly what it is like to stop focusing on school over a relationship DO NOT DO IT. I tell you because I am young too....21...and I have a daughter and have been through hell and back...no one is worth wasting your life for.........hang in there.......it'll get better.....try to enjoy being alone.....this helped me a lot...if you need to talk PM me.
Re: i could really use some help, or just a friend Fendann: I'm afraid that I would have to agree with the counselor on this one....if he can't take care of himself, how is he supposed to take care of you?
Re: i could really use some help, or just a friend ace1234: Hey MB427,
I too am on methadone. Not for heroin but chronic pain. I can understand where he is coming from underdosing. But that doesn't excuse his actions.
You need to let him go and make sure he get's his 'stuff' together.
If he is undercutting his dose to save money he is bound to relapse with the heroin again.
If he comes back it was meant to be. If not you will find someone that appreciates you. Everyone on this site is dealing with loss of one kind or another. I know that probably doesn't help you, but...
Stay strong.
Believe me when I say, it would be much better for you and him to break up than for him to get back on the juice.
l8r
Re: i could really use some help, or just a friend worchid76: U are way to young to deal with this kind of situation. Please find help and guidance from some wise people. It seems there is none of that were you are.
I know this might be difficult but you need to think about getting out of your bad situation.
Good luck
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