€15,000 to leave the country???! clambakesX: Sweet freaking baby j ... I just read the first draft of the divorce agreement, and it looks like Clambake's lawyer is trying to get me to agree to leave the country ... the draft states that I agree to leave by the end of the year, and out of nowhere he put in a random one-time payment to me, which is WEIRD because Clambake was trying to get money out of me.
Today I went home for lunch. There was a worried-sounding phone message from Clambake: he'd received a draft divorce agreement from his lawyer (ccd to me) and "didn't know where the lawyer had his information from" and there were "several phrasings he wasn't sure about" and could we "sit down and talk about it."
Snort.
So I skipped coffee and dessert and went to the post office to pick up my mail. Sure enough, an official-looking envelope from his hot-tamale (has won awards in Clambake's region) lawyer.
This is a weird-ars agreement, even to someone like me who hasn't seen one before. It contains phrasing from our letter to the lawyer who did our post-nup three years ago. I mean, lawyer: write your own bloody legalese, don't steal phrases from the client!!!
Tomorrow night I'm going to a meeting/workshop of a local group for people who are obligated to pay support. I'd be really happy to get out of paying Clambake, but I know this country's law pretty well, and a lot of the waivers in the agreement simply wouldn't hold up under law. For example, Clambake can fine and well agree not to hold me liable to support him, but if he runs out of money and files for state aid, the state will come after me no matter what rights he's signed away. And vice-versa.
I really don't like the bit about me agreeing to leave the country of free will. Good lord. I was married to the guy for long enough to get unlimited residency and work permit, and no woman in the world would have put up with his family that long JUST to get those "privileges". It's not a country I'd ever have wanted to live in of my own free will, so why am I now being asked to leave it as though immigrants in my category (educated, not dependent on the state, look the same as 'natives') are flowing in left and right?
I'm not asking for specific legal help here, especially since I'm not going to say which country I'm in.
Re:€15,000 to leave the country???! Discarded: Sounds like he may be worried about papers he signed to get you into the country legally. He probably has signed alot of papers regarding supporting you.
Hold firm, do what you want to do. You got to where ever you are legally and have earned the right to live there if you wish to. If you wish to return to your home country I'd take his cash since you want to return anyway, if not tell him to stuff it.
My .02
Discarded
Re:€15,000 to leave the country???! clambakesX: [quote author=Discarded link=board=8;threadid=3508;start=0#msg28218 date=1091260495">
Sounds like he may be worried about papers he signed to get you into the country legally. He probably has signed alot of papers regarding supporting you.
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Wow, I hadn't thought of that. This is another point that gets me - he DID sign all the papers, and lied with some of them, e.g. saying I had health insurance, and I didn't / don't. When I had an emergency operation, he called me up while I was recovering and told me he'd decided not to pay for it - since I hadn't taken care of getting insurance and should learn my lesson.
I'm really fed up with his attitude about money ... he quit a VERY well-paying job and took a low salary working for his parents with the presumption that *I* would earn more than enough to cover the difference ... without checking with me, of course. He's so angry that I didn't fulfil his expectations of subsidising his life choices. Screw him, really.
I'm staying here for a while ... might do a new post-nup in which we choose US law (the first post-nup chose local law) and then see about getting a US divorce. Just have to find a state that will allow this. Delaware? His big concern is whether this would be recognised locally when he wants to marry again. (Again, screw him.) I told him that was no problem (it will be, because local officials are a PITA about accepting "eligibility to marry" status) and he won't check that himself. You know, he didn't help me with ANY of my paper work here.
