I've made a decision.....I think.....(and more) sylvia3113: I'm going to an open house tomorrow to look at a house that I have been trying to see for 2 weeks now. It is in the city where I work, which is 60 miles from where I now live. If I like it, I'm going to try to buy it.
This means leaving the small town I live in. It also means leaving this house that I love, this house that he and I bought together. It also means moving even farther away from my family (i'm already 35 miles, but will now be 90 miles away).
It could also mean a new start. A new home that is all my own with few reminders of him. I will be within 15 minutes of work, instead of 1+hour. Hopefully, it will also mean that I can start to live my life again instead of hiding and avoiding going out in case I run into him and her together.
Funny thing (well, not funny ha-ha), for the first time in about 6 weeks, my ex-husband called today. Called to tell me that he bought a house and got a promotion at work. He wants to come over next week to pick up the last of his belongings from the basement and garage.
I just about cried while talking to him. I congratulated him, but I was very quiet because I knew if I said much, I would cry. I'm sure he could hear my voice cracking. I'm not sure why I had this reaction. Was it the sound of his voice after so long? Was it the realization that once he picks up the last of his stuff, we have absolutely no ties to each other. Was it the realization that he's totally moved on and is happy and successful without me?
Unfortunately, when I put my house up for sale (which I think will be soon) it will look like I did that after I learned he bought a house. We have been divorced for 10 months now and separated for 6 months prior to that. Was I subconsciously waiting all this time for him to come back?
I don't know what to do if I fall in love with this house tomorrow, as my current house isn't even on the market. Hopefully, it all works out for me and I make the right choices.
