having a tough time today AMG: Didnt even realize it until just now, but one week ago today is the last time that we talked. :-\
I am having a really tough day to day. All of a sudden I can not stop wondering what is going on between him and his "friend". (He broke up with me in Jan. for her, then we were trying to reconcile, yet he still wanted to keep in contact with her). Needless to say, that quickly destroyed any chance of us reconcilling.
My thoughts are going wild. The last time he gave me up so easily was because of her. I know I am assuming here, but it makes since for this time too. It hurts so bad to think that I was not good enough for him. I gave him the best I had. And to think, she has his attention now just makes me sick to my stomach.
The realization that too much has went wrong... that there is no going back is almost too much to handle. I miss him so much, God it hurts.
This "OW", well I cant stand her (imagine that) but really she has absoluetly no morals. She has all these exes she is still in love with, tried to get with my ex while we were still together, and is currently sleeping with a married co-worker. Makes me feel great that he would "chose" her over me. Yeah, they are really going to go far.
And, I feel as if he used me. He came running back to me when she was unavailable and now that she gives him the time of day again, there he goes, he is gone. I thought our relationship was so much more than that. This is so "high school" and we are in our 30's.
I wish I could just detach like he has. I cant imagine ever being ok with this.
Re: having a tough time today Lance: So many aspects of your story reflect mine, even the time he left you first time (mine left in Jan first time as well.) Even the fact that although to my knowledge, she was not (in contact) perse but she was wrting letters and stashing them, expressing her love for him.... plus I could read it on her face that she was just not here for us this time around. I know exactly what you are going through with this whole lost second chance situation. Tomorrow I sign the dissolution papers... I have been keeping it together, honestly wasn't so emotionally distraught this time around, since I feel like it is wasted on someone who does not requit my love. But last night I had the worst dream of all since she left the first time. She's sleeping at my house, he actually shows up, we have a confrontation, it wakes her up, she sees him and gets dressed and leaves with him. The fact of the matter is that's exactly how it will play out if he comes back here from West Coast. That was a hard dream to dream. I just keep telling myself it's not my problem anymore. I am going to do whatever it takes to detatch and move on... until I stop the dreams. PM me anytime you need to talk. Trust me I know how you are feeling
???
Re: having a tough time today ezydriver: Man, believe me, he IS going to get his karma with this girl. What makes him think she's going to treat him any different to all her other exes. She sounds like a lost soul unable to stick to one person. When he comes back to you, I emphasise the word when, not 'if', make sure you're as strong as hell and moved on. Then he will hurt like you now. He will never settle.
Re: having a tough time today asd.me: Well, I completely understand. My husband's OW was suppose to be my friend and was our neighbor until about 1 month ago. She seems to like married men and plays this needy, victim of her ex's. My husband and I are trying to work on things and he supposively has given her up but i heard that in the past and it was a lie. we are also in our 30's, married for 13 years with 3 kids. I felt like things have been going good then had a dream of them again last night. Now today he went fishing and my gut is screaming that he is with her now. I really want to drive by her new house and see but can't do that to my kids as they would have to go with me. i want to trust him but am afraid to. It makes me physically sick to think of him at her houes.
Do you ever get over feeling like a paranoid, crazy bitch?
I also don't know if i will ever get over this if it doesn't work, he has always been by life.
Re: having a tough time today trapped: [quote author=AMG link=topic=35100.msg369838#msg369838 date=1159111751">
I wish I could just detach like he has. I cant imagine ever being ok with this.
[/quote">
Its so hard for me to fathom this as well. How, after theyve thoroughly destroyed us, can we still love them unconditionally and mourn and yearn for them? And how is it that they left and never looked back?
Wheres the sense in that?
The Gods are cruel. Our exes are cruel.
You try to stay strong...keep your self-love intact as best you can. Hugs.
Click More for the next page.
