Re: having a tough time today AMG: Lance,
yeah, in the beginning I was not as emotionally distraught this time around as well. Until I started thinking about them... It really makes me very angry, and most of the time I stay angry, but occassionally this unbelievable hurt sets in. Not only do I hurt like hell over him, I feel like sh!t thinking that I wasnt good enough for him and some a$$hole b!tch is????!!!! But, I try to think I was TOO good for him!
ezy,
I will do my best, I would love nothing more then to have him come crawling back and to do nothing but laugh at him!!!
asd,
funny you should say that, my ex has made me a paranoid, crazy bitch too! I do not even really know that they are "together" perse, but I know they are talking and I know that he choose to keep doing so and causing own relationship to go to hell. And, like I said the only other time he had the nerve to cut me off so completely was when she was in the picture. So, my gut tells me there is more then he is telling me. I do not like the person I was starting to become because of him.
trapped,
Keep myself love intact. Thanks, I needed to hear that. (I broke it off with him this time around, only to try to take it back the next day... to which he broke it off)! But all of this is out of self love. I cant let him keep hurting me, and I have a lot more respect for myself then to let someone basically have an emotional affair right in front of my face!
Yeah, I am still waiting so to speak, for him to come around, silly as it sounds. I guess we remember the good in them, and miss that. I would give anything to have that person back. I do miss him so much, and just wish I could reach out and have him in my arms again.
Re: having a tough time today Jaye_Rue: I too, can totally relate. My husband and I broke up in January of 2004 (what's with all the breakups in January anyway?) just two days before my birthday and a week before our 11th wedding anniversary.
I feel the pain every single day. Sometimes I just break down and cry while at work making photocopies. My mind is swamped with wondering what "they" are doing together.
About a year after we separated, he started dating other women though we were still married. We tried reconciling but it was a rollercoaster of emotions and he kept going back to the women he claimed were "just friends". He later admitted that most of them want much more than that and knowing his need for attention, he probably gave them what they wanted to some degree.
I never felt good enough for him...he was sure to make me feel that way. I wasn't pretty enough...I wasn't funny enough...he would compare the money that I make to what his dates made. He used me...he used me often. And yet, to think about him not in my life, hurts even more. I've cried almost every day for the past two weeks since we're about to file for a divorce. The pain is almost unbearable.
But I did discover something this weekend. Where things went wrong. Communication broke down and we didn't know how to talk to each other and tell each other how we felt without it feeling like we were being accused of something. Had we started therapy sooner...we may have made it. But we didn't. He doesn' want to try. And I'm left alone to deal with this pain.
Another thing I found out...I derived a lot of my self-esteem and self-confidence from him. If I had his "approval", I felt great. That's why it worked so well in the early years. I did the same for him. It was 50/50 in the beginning but then he started pulling from me more than he was giving back and it went downhill from there.
I feel for you and your situation. Hang in there the best that you can. Family and friends keep telling me it gets "better". I'm praying that's true...for all of our sakes. Be well.
