Trying to begin the divorce process butterfly: My huband and I have been married for 6 years. After years of feeling unloved I am finally ready to get on with my life.
He is currently (since Feb.) working in Iraq as an independent contractor for the goverment. Because of this I lost my job and have been a stay at home mother since May. I have no income of my own coming in. He currently makes over 60 grand a year.
We have two children, my dd is not his child however. Our ds is the topic of heated debate. I am trying to work with him on a cusdoty and be fair. Divideing time between us.
I am currently "talking" with another man, though the relationship is not intamite.
We have some debt, but the money he has earned will take care of that before we divorce.
He currently is aloting me $600 every two weeks for me and the kids, and he pays all the bills in addition.
Ok, after all that info here are my questions:
He may get a job working from home when he returns from Iraq, would this make him more likely to get full custody of our son?
I have a past problem with alchol abuse, but am now sober and in treatment and on meds. Will this affect custody?
What about his ability to earn more money then me?
I have also drawn up a "temp" aggrement to use until he returns in May of next year to stipulate that he has to continue to send the $600 twice a month and pay nessacary bills.
I have aggreed to not file papers until he returns. Is this advisable?
I'm sure i'll come up with more questions later, and thank you for the responses in advance.
Butterfly
P.s. excuse the spelling
Re: Trying to begin the divorce process doctorjoel: You don't say what state you plan to file in; that can make a big diffierence. You also don't say how old your son is, which can be a big factor too.
In most states the laws and courts are figuring that joint custody and decision making is in the best interest of the child. Best interest of the child is either the biggest or sole factor when determining custody.
So, neither of you is likely to end up with sole custody. His working from home is not more likely to result with him get full custody. Your past problem with alcohol could be a factor, but it depends on how long you have been clean, how many times you have been off the wagon, since then, and so forth. If you are working with a doctor who will state you are fine now, that will help much.
His ability to earn more money will not be a factor in the custody, but will be a factor in computing alimony and child support.
It would be hard to file papers with him out of the country as they would be hard to serve. I guess there are rules about that, but it is probably OK to wait. The reason not to wait is that many states have automatic delays between time of filing and when the divorce can be final. But if you're not in a rush it probably doesn't matter. You should probably discuss this with an attorney or paralegal, even if you are planning on handling most of the process without them.
Re: Trying to begin the divorce process butterfly: Thank you for responding.
My son is 4. We live in PA which is a no-fault state and a divorce can be determined in as little as 90 days. That is if both parties agree.
As far as the alcohol I am doing well. He has just made statements like "i wonder what a judge will think of a drunk raise two kids" But i think they are made out of anger more then him actually thinking of bringing it up in court.
I do currently see a counselar every two weeks, and it is going well.
Will me having a "friendship" with another male matter, if we are seperated? I know that PA does not have a seperation law. But he and I are not intamite but plan to be together after the divorce.
Thanks again.
