Re:My In-Laws Seem To Have Forgotten I'm The Good Guy... sarao525: At first I thought my in-laws were upset with me. I am now realizing that they are just upset that their son has hurt me and the boys this way. I do not speak with them much right now, but they do reach out and show me they love me in ther own way, without the stbx knowing.
Just hang in there and things will be okay. I am in contact with his sister and brother, but on a different level. We have made an agreement not to talk abot the stbx execpt in positive remberence.
Be careful not to hurt them more than theya re hurting, don't strain the relationship. It will work out if you give it time.
Re:My In-Laws Seem To Have Forgotten I'm The Good Guy... Discarded: Her parents have to be in a strange position. They like you, they like what you have done, and their daughter's behavior has really hurt the family overall. They feel they have to back and support their daughter, but how do you do that when her behavior is causing so much pain and is wrong?
Give them some time and I think it will work out very good for you. They will come to terms with what has happened and they will figure out ways to reach out to you. They may also be giving you and their daughter space to talk in private, hoping things will correct themselves.
Re:My In-Laws Seem To Have Forgotten I'm The Good Guy... Beren: I guess I'll throw my two cents in as well.
[quote"> Blood is thicker then a marriage certificate.
--Picadilly[/quote">
Yep, I think we're all finding out that this is true. Kim's family has been pretty decent to me in all this, but it's far from "supportive."
[quote"> Ironically this crisis is only bringing out the best in me.
--Lovelock[/quote">
That's the way I feel, too. Not that I haven't made some gross errors since Nov. 22, but for the most part, I've stayed calm and rational and have tried to do what I think would be most helpful and least harmful.
Of course, being Mr. Nice Guy has caused Kim to think she's just going to run all over me and take everything, so now I've had to be a little more firm. But I don't think I'm being vindictive about it. Kim might say I am, but then again, she hasn't seen me stand up for myself very often, so I'm sure it would appear vindictive in comparison.
Beren
Re:My In-Laws Seem To Have Forgotten I'm The Good Guy... lovelock: Hi and thanks again for the replies. Since I last posted I've gleaned a few nuggets of information from a mutual friend. Apparently my wifes mum is starting to get really p****d at my wifes behaviour since she moved in with her. Taking into consideration that my wife and her mum are very, very close, her mum has been confiding in a friend that she thinks my wife is lazy and selfish. Apparently my wife hasn't helped around the house, hasn't contributed to the running of the house (it's been a month since my wife left. We have joint custody of our son. My wife has no excuse for not getting herself a job. Instead she is waiting for her benefits to come through.) Her mum actually told her friend that she is starting to realise just how much I actually did for my wife when we were together. She is also dissapointed that her daughter is acting in this way after the good upbringing she provided for her as a child. My mum-in-laws husband is also finding the situation stressful. Apparently he gets on well with my wifes boyfriend but he doesn't trust him to be alone with my wife in their house. He is worried that their bank details are too available and accessible. He is also holding back from being himself for fear of causing tension between him and his wife. To be honest I knew things would be stressfull at my in-laws house but I didn't think things were so bad that my mum-in-law would start to resent her own daughter. I feel such sympathy for my in-laws. They are trying to do the right thing but their lives must have been turned upside down. The OM seems to have moved in with them as well. Apparently he sleeps in their caravan in the front garden.
As for giving their daughter and myself space to talk that situation is very strange as well. The OM seems to have total control over my wife at the moment, even to the point where my wife informs him of her phone conversations first so he can relay the information to my in-laws. And this is in their own house.
I have learnt a few other things about the situation which I will write down when I update my other thread on the 'My Story' section of the site.
Well..... any ideas of how to take it from here? I still haven't seen my in-laws or talked to them properly since my wife left. I am worried by what I've learnt that the situation will blow up in the near future and a lot of angry words will be exchanged. I take no satisfaction from this happening or the hurt that this will cause. I just hope my son is not present when this occurs.
Re:My In-Laws Seem To Have Forgotten I'm The Good Guy... lovelock: Hi, I don't know if what to make of this but since I last posted I have actually talked to my mum-in-laws husband. Last Friday I had to collect my son from their house. The OM was there but wisely stayed inside. Whilst I was waiting on the porch for my wife to collect something her step-dad came out and started making small talk. He asked me how my day had been and I replied good. (It was a good day at work.) He seemed awkward with talking to me. He is usually very confident but he kept clearing his throat. I felt good that he made the effort to speak to me. Do you think that it is a step in the right direction and that my in-laws actually want to continue a relationship with me?
Early days I know....
