Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? LKN4ME: Okay, this one I'm going to have to post in a couple of areas just because I don't know where to put it to get the best response:
Is there anyone out there that is with or has been with a Reformed Cheater? And by reformed cheater I mean: Someone that cheated on their spouse, once, twice, or more and never cheated on another spouse or significant other after that point.
You can even through the "maybes" in here if you want. Maybe you've been with someone that you thought cheated but couldn't prove it
Or maybe you know of someone that cheated again, but their spouse doesn't know it. And the spouse is under the assumption that everything is just peachy?
And if you were with a reformed cheater and are no longer with them, why?
I know there are quite a few shrinks out there that say that the cheater can change if they really want to ....... but this makes me wonder if there isn't something like chemically wrong with them or something.
Kind of like (To me, coming from a very abusive alcholic father) that Once a Drunk, Always a Drunk) That the person Almost Always "Falls off the wagon"
So, any ideas out there?
Re:Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? Safetykc: One of my ex gf's father was an alcoholic and very abusice and has been clean for years and years...it took a long time and he hasn't falling off the wagon. But he and she both admit if he ever touched a drop again their relationship and that with his grandchild would be finito. So some people can reform.
As for cheating...I don't know. I always broke up with the person after they cheated or around the time theycheated, etc. So not sure if they could reform. If there is a pattern, they have done it over and over...who knows...the other challenge is if they did it once, and that is systematic of some deep problems in the relationship, and did it again...what is to stop them from doing it again and again with that same person. Maybe they might not cheat in future relationships, but that TABOO so to speak has already been broken once or more with that person so the threshold of them being ok with doing it again would be very low over the long term.
Just my .02. As for cheaters who got away with it....ughh..;the married guy with 3 kids at my work that my ex-sleestak cheated with did...his wife never found out as I never told her and he sure didn't....so his family is still intact and she has no idea...but before you think bad of this poor shmo my ex repeatedly informed me they had broken it off a number of times while cheating because he is catholic and felt TOTALLY guily...yeahhhhhh riiiiiight... ;)
Que sera sera...Onto better and brighter and MUCH better kissers... :-*
Hugs,
Safety
