Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? LKN4ME: Okay, this one I'm going to have to post in a couple of areas just because I don't know where to put it to get the best response:
Is there anyone out there that is with or has been with a Reformed Cheater? And by reformed cheater I mean: Someone that cheated on their spouse, once, twice, or more and never cheated on another spouse or significant other after that point.
You can even through the "maybes" in here if you want. Maybe you've been with someone that you thought cheated but couldn't prove it
Or maybe you know of someone that cheated again, but their spouse doesn't know it. And the spouse is under the assumption that everything is just peachy?
And if you were with a reformed cheater and are no longer with them, why?
I know there are quite a few shrinks out there that say that the cheater can change if they really want to ....... but this makes me wonder if there isn't something like chemically wrong with them or something.
Kind of like (To me, coming from a very abusive alcholic father) that Once a Drunk, Always a Drunk) That the person Almost Always "Falls off the wagon"
So, any ideas out there?
Re:Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? ChrisJane: From my own experience Once a Cheater always a Cheater.
My ex cheated on both his ex's---DUH, should have known better Right!
He was such a smooth talker, he made me believe he never cheated on them--it was all lies. When I caught him cheating, it was all lies, he swore on our wedding vows he'd never cheat on me. Well come to find out those didn't mean a d@mn thing to him.
MAYBE if someone only cheated after being cheated on out of comfort or revenge they might not cheat again....But a TRUE CHEATER, don't think they would stop.
A tiger doesn't loose its stripes!
Re:Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? jennyfromtheblock: I think so, too: Once a cheater, always a cheater.
My X cheated again and again. I went back for more again and again. He always seemed so remorseful and we'd go to counseling. From him to the counselor: "I never had a Dad! Boo hoo! My mom never took good enough care of me! Wah-wah!" Then he would spend a few months totally focused on our relationship. But always there would be some reason that he would start to drift. Then he'd start being gone all the time. Then we'd separate while he "explored" his options. I am obviously the dumbest woman on Earth. The counselor told me that I had Abused Wife Syndrome. Low self esteem. Co-dependent. At the time I was like, "whatever, no way, I'm fine - it's him who's messed up" but now it's like "Duh. I'm a mess or else why would I have put up with all that sh!t??"
I always thought the worst part was how he'd tell his little girlfriends sorry for cheating on them with me, his wife. They sure were always pissed about it, sheesh! They hated me and tried many ways to get revenge on me. You know, for being married to my own husband.
Duh!
Re:Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? jason_stl: In all of my years, the only woman that I dated who cheated on her boyfriend was one of the best loves I ever had. It was in between universities and I trusted her so much because her feelings were always out in the open.
Now, on the flip side of the coin, I have been with dozens of women who always professed they were "one-man" ponies. Turns out that those women were always the ones to cheat on me. Perhaps I should write a book on how to make your girlfriend/spouse unfaithful ... there may be a small, niche market out there for that type of value.
Re:Anyone with/been with a reformed cheater? Shorelinedad: yes, and we're almost through our 2nd and FINAL divorce!
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