Does it ever end ? Ms-C1: Hi All,
I am new here and will try to be brief.
I had been with my stbx for 17 years, 4 of which we were married. We have one son.
My stbx began having an affair with a woman from his job. Please be mindful that he had said some terrible things about this woman.
He said that she was a gold-digger and had tried to sleep with just about every man in the company. He said that she couldn't hold on to any man. Well, guess who ended up being her man??!!! When I found out about the affair, he lied and said that he wasn't seeing her anymore, but he was. He refused to stop seeing her. After much hardship, begging and pleading, I filed for divorce. I just couldn't take it anymore!! I'd also spoken to his girlfriend and she found it flattering that I thought that she was able to keep my husband away from his family. She laughed and said "This is my house and if your husband wants to come here, then he can". I just washed my hands of the marriage. At this point, I knew that they were not going to stop seeing each other.
I also had the worst attorney in the world. I really mean this. My husband walked away from the marriage with the marital home and all of the equity in the home. I and our son had to move out of the home and find a place to live.
At first, I was angry and felt that he had gotten away with murder. He caused the divorce but actually didn't lose a thing. Eventually, I accepted this and wanted to move forward.
My attorney continuously mailed incorrect copies of our final settlement agreement. She refused to meet with me, return any of my calls, or anything. Our final divorce hearing was in Februay of this year. As of today, I still have not gotten a final divorce decree.
When my attorney finally prepared the settlement agreement, somewhat satisfactory, I agreed to sign, then she w/drew from the case. It had taken so long for us to get our divorce finalized that now it has to go before a jury. I am not prepared menatally or financially to go to trial. I have tried to contact my stbx's attorney but she has refused to return any of my calls. I felt that this matter could be settled out of court. So, I go back to court, without an attorney, hoping that the judge will hear my case and accept the terms of the settlement agreement that I had agreed upon prior to the w/drawal of my attorney. I am so nervous about going to court alone.
It amazes me that my stbx is so hellbent on "getting back at me". For what? I didn't cause the marriage to fail, I didn't cheat. And he still ended up with everyting. I have accepted this and I'm very ready to end this marriage.
I have not spoken to him in over a year but I know that he lives with that witch. I just assumed that since he was so happy with her that he would want this to be over so that he could get on with his life and allow me to go on with mine and raise our son.
Does it ever end?
Peace to all,
Ms. C
Re:Does it ever end ? LKN4ME: Ms C
I'd say that he "doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to have you"
Since it has to go before a jury now, is there anything that you can do to get some type of maintenance or something? I'd ask a clerk of the court if and what can be done to get the process going.
If you were already divorced you could have gone directly to the courthouse to get a copy of the decree.
Since you don't know my story, my husband and I are "trying to work things out" - after he's cheated twice. But he's done the same thing to me about the OT. Bad mouthed her to no end. Saying how skanky she was, etc. Only to find out after the fact what was going on.
Why can't people just grow a set and tell the truth before they cross the line into adultery?
Sorry your having such a bad time of your divorce. But you've definitely come to the right place. There is a legal section you might post your story in too. You'd be amazed at all of the topics here. And how much better you feel once you start posting stuff and getting responses.
It's my on-line therapy session!
Good luck! Welcome Aboard!
;)
Re:Does it ever end ? Ms-C1: Thank you for your response. I will try the legal section too, I didn't know that it existed.
I hope that all is well for you and your husband this time around. At least he is showing you that he wants to be with you.
My stbx never tried to reconcile, not once!!
Take Care,
Ms C
