Re:Last Night nova: Thanks again everyone!!!!
To give you an update, I did end up sending her the anniversary card - no response. I then poured my heart out in a letter and card I sent her after the weekend. She finally responded with the following email.
"I just wanted to send an email to let you know that I have received both of your cards/letters. They are very thoughtful and I can definately feel your pain. This is a very difficult decision for me, but I still feel like it is the right decision. I'm glad that you are doing things to improve the quality of your life. It makes me very sad to know that it took this happening for you to come to all of these conclusions.
I wish you only happiness, but I don't think that I can risk myself anymore. All of your "new" wants are things that I wanted too over the past 4 years. When I didn't get them, my "in love" feelings began to disappear. I care about you deeply and hope that God will help us get through this. I believe, like I've told you for years, everything happens for a reason. Even if we're not clear what the reason is right now.
Please know that I am hurting too.
On a different note, I want you to know that I am seeing an attorney for a consultation on Wednesday (Aug. 4) and if I like her...I will retain her for any future needs I have in this process. Also, I have stopped using our joint credit card and cancelled my name on all of the others.
I'll talk to you more about all of this after I meet with the
lady on Wednesday.
Take Care of yourself, please."
I was devastated when I read this email. She throwing in the towel and I'm not ready. I don't think there is much more I can do, except hope and pray. I am going to individual counseling and going to start group divorce counseling on Monday. This is soooooo painful.
Re:Last Night picadilly: Yes, no one ever said divorce is easy. It's generally a kick in the nards. But like Safety said, she is so far ahead of you on the road to recovery because she's had the time to think it through, you have not.
The therapy & couselling will help you, I know, they helped me alot. Infact, I'm still in contact with a couple people in my group. They are all good people but in my case I was the youngest in the group sessions, kinda sucked but there you go.
Be well & take this time to heal yourself mentally & refrain from contacting her any more or telling her how you feel. You just put the power in her hands & she is not going to give you the answers you crave. Inpower yourself for now, your mental state needs to heal.
Re:Last Night nova: OK, to give you an update. She sent me the following email today
"I will be giving you a call tonight to discuss a few things that the attorney I saw last week recommends.
Talk to you soon."
We haven't talked in about 2 weeks and this is the first email I've received from her in a week.
I'm actually going to my first session of group counseling tonight so I won't be available. I don't know how to respond. I afraid that if I talk to her - I'll just get into relationship talk, which I know will push her farther away. Not sure how to respond.
Also, I talked to her pastor last night (he married us and we get along great). Not sure if it was a good thing that I did that, but I did feel better once I did. I know he wants to help but I'm afraid she'll see it as another way of trying to convince her to come back.
Any ideas? I feel so irational right now that I don't know what I should/should not be doing.
