Hope to make you smile... pkb1300: Hope these make you smile just a little... :D
How do these People survive?"
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said
the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I
replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was
the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen
nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So
I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with
just a few items and the lady behind me put her
things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up
the "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could
scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me,
"Do you know how much this is?" I said to her
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy
that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for
the things and left. She had no clue to what had
just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card
into her floppy drive and pulling it out very
quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet
and they kept asking for a credit card number, so
she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote
thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries.
It's a long walk."
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none
too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the
intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to
make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a
large motor home was towed into the garage. The
front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the "Cruise Control" and then went in
the back to make a tuna sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in
the central office of a large bank. Employees in
the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a
woman in one of the branch banks who had this
question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of
my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each
time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the
truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the
dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants, the
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some
Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I
just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher:
Rush him in to Emergency!
"Life is Tough. It's Tougher if you're Stupid."
