Is this bad? surprised: My ex and I have a mutual friend from work. I am better friends with this person than my ex is. There were rumors once upon a time that this person had a crush on me. But I had no idea if it was true or not, and it's not the sort of thing you could ask a person. So, I only recently told him about the break-up and I think the crush possibility was part of the reason I was hesitant. I should say that I feel completely platonic about this person, absolutely no romantic feeelings of any kind. Anyway, he came to visit me at work this weekend; there is a good chance that this will get back to my ex, and it's really not a big deal, because he had come to visit me at work several times before we broke up. He knows a lot of the people there, as he used to be in my department, so he visits everyone, but he's mainly there to see me. So anyway, sorry this got so long, but I wanted you guys to have all the information. My point is this: Is it bad that I'm really hoping my friendship with this guy will make my ex jealous, maybe make him realize that there are other fish in the sea (for me) and some of those fish are in fact interested?
Re: Is this bad? Feel: Regardless of who is interested in you, you have to be the stronger person. You have to like you before anyone else can!
Stay away from the X, talk and mingle with people, no outside contact if you really want to work things out with him(X).
Re: Is this bad? idocsteve: If you and your ex are going to reconcile, it will be because you are able to resolve whatever issues broke you up in the first place, not because of jealousy. My stbx and I are on the brink of divorce, only the second time we have been this close to the end during this past 1 yr of major problems, and the other time we got this close was when I found out that she had a date. Once there is involvement with another man, I am finished, although at this point it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway.
Re: Is this bad? surprised: Feel,
I know all of that, and it's not about contacting him. It's about what he hears through the grapevine and how it makes him feel, meaning if it makes him realize that he could actually lose me to someone else (which isn't happening, as I will not be ready for that for some time). And I have been strong in the no contact. Although, I have been weakening the past couple days, I haven't contacted him and I hope that I don't, which means my presence on this board may be heavy tonight. Thanks for the reply.
BTW, I feel that I should add that I would never exploit my friend or use him to make the ex jealous, he knows that we only friends, so like I said it's more about ex's reaction than anything else.
Re: Is this bad? 2be: Since you asked for opinions ;)....
I don't think it is healthy to try to make your X jealous at all, regardless if it will or will not hurt your friend. You're basically trying to manipulate your x for you own feelings, and that is not a good way to try to work things out OR even let it all go.
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