Re: Is this bad? spooky: I would say you should act as you would if there was no break up. If someone was a friend before, they can still be a friend. Definately don't use this to inspire jealousy, but don't let the possibility control you. If there is a crush and it comes up, handle that as you would if there was no relationship to have been broken up. It's your life and your friend, treat it that way.
Re: Is this bad? toolate: $0.02
I think it’s a totally normal response - but one that tends not to lead to good places. Jealousy, like guilt & fear are not emotions that I would think anyone would want to use or even just have as the cause for someone to be involved with them.
But I totally get the desire, to overcome the helpless feeling by doing something.
Is this bad? surprised: My ex and I have a mutual friend from work. I am better friends with this person than my ex is. There were rumors once upon a time that this person had a crush on me. But I had no idea if it was true or not, and it's not the sort of thing you could ask a person. So, I only recently told him about the break-up and I think the crush possibility was part of the reason I was hesitant. I should say that I feel completely platonic about this person, absolutely no romantic feeelings of any kind. Anyway, he came to visit me at work this weekend; there is a good chance that this will get back to my ex, and it's really not a big deal, because he had come to visit me at work several times before we broke up. He knows a lot of the people there, as he used to be in my department, so he visits everyone, but he's mainly there to see me. So anyway, sorry this got so long, but I wanted you guys to have all the information. My point is this: Is it bad that I'm really hoping my friendship with this guy will make my ex jealous, maybe make him realize that there are other fish in the sea (for me) and some of those fish are in fact interested?
Re: Is this bad? Feel: Regardless of who is interested in you, you have to be the stronger person. You have to like you before anyone else can!
Stay away from the X, talk and mingle with people, no outside contact if you really want to work things out with him(X).
Re: Is this bad? idocsteve: If you and your ex are going to reconcile, it will be because you are able to resolve whatever issues broke you up in the first place, not because of jealousy. My stbx and I are on the brink of divorce, only the second time we have been this close to the end during this past 1 yr of major problems, and the other time we got this close was when I found out that she had a date. Once there is involvement with another man, I am finished, although at this point it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway.
