Re: Is this bad? surprised: Feel,
I know all of that, and it's not about contacting him. It's about what he hears through the grapevine and how it makes him feel, meaning if it makes him realize that he could actually lose me to someone else (which isn't happening, as I will not be ready for that for some time). And I have been strong in the no contact. Although, I have been weakening the past couple days, I haven't contacted him and I hope that I don't, which means my presence on this board may be heavy tonight. Thanks for the reply.
BTW, I feel that I should add that I would never exploit my friend or use him to make the ex jealous, he knows that we only friends, so like I said it's more about ex's reaction than anything else.
Re: Is this bad? 2be: Since you asked for opinions ;)....
I don't think it is healthy to try to make your X jealous at all, regardless if it will or will not hurt your friend. You're basically trying to manipulate your x for you own feelings, and that is not a good way to try to work things out OR even let it all go.
Re: Is this bad? surprised: Thanks, I know you guys are right, and it's not like I want him to come running back to me just so no one else gets me. I guess what I meant was maybe realizing that and feeling a little jealous would prompt him to think a little more and maybe make him realize a few things and that would lead to a reconciliation. I just want to talk to him. I'm beginning to regret telling him we can't be friends.
Re: Is this bad? tygerseye04: Hi Surprised,
Don't listen to anyone else on here. It's totally normal to want to make your ex jealous. Heck, I think my ex had a little of that in mind when he blasted his new myspace page all over the internet...So, it's very common and very normal.
And it may work. It may make him jealous and he will begin thinking of things...but will it solve all of your problems? No. Even if he did come back because he was jealous then that would just be putting a band aid on a deeper wound.
I say--let him fry in a pan of his own jealousy. Let him really THINK about what it is that he did wrong. Because it doesn't sound like, since he left you, he's been thinking much, and those dusty wheels in the brain need to get brushed off and start moving.
You shouldn't be the only hamster running in the hamster relationship cage. Let him step in and run awhile.
Anyway. Let him fry.
That's my advice. Then maybe in a year or two, consider getting back together with him. But any man who will treat you the way that he has treated you after you have been with him for TEN YEARS, in which those years were blessed and good and you were supposedly his bestestbestest friend, doesn't deserve to have you back until he has really done a lot of thinking.
make him work.
oh and don't be friends don't be friends don't be friends! Beyond the fact that it rarely ever works, you will essentially be fulfilling his emotional needs while asking again, for no commitment. If you become friends there is a slim chance in hell that you will ever get back together.
Be the main entree not the mashed potato side order.
(i.e what fills him up but that he doesn't really need to order.)
Re: Is this bad? surprised: All right, I just got a call from my friend. He wanted to check and see how I was doing and everything. And he wanted to see if I wanted to go see a movie with him because I love movies and haven't been since the break-up, so he thought I might like to go. I played it off that there was nothing I wanted to see out right now, and maybe another time when there was something good out. Anyway we talked for a while, just about general stuff, some plans I have coming up and other things. The thing is, I'm really scared that he does in fact like me. I've always been able to tell when a guy has been interested, it's like a sense, I always thought all women had it. I don't want to lose my friendship with this guy, but I'm very nervous that he may have his hopes up thinking he has a shot with me now. Which just isn't true, I just don't feel that way towards him. I think I'm just venting. And I may be wrong, maybe he doesn't feel that way. He does have a lot of female friends and he's a really nice guy, so maybe I'm reading too much into it. I hope so, this is one thing I'd prefer to be wrong about.
