you 1 EssieDotCom: You know it peeves me off to no end when you say "I don't want to hear about such and such a person...." So yeah I see a little green monster coming out in you! That's all in good and sweet, but he, being merely an old friend, has done more for us in the last year than you have! Maybe you need to hear about it! Maybe you need to hear that last christmas while you decided I'd have enough money to supply the kids with christmas, after playing the lot rent, the phone bill, the cable bill, the water and electric bill that I had enough to get them their christmas; I had lil of nothing left, Hell I didn't even have enough to supply them with "Dinner" at that time. You didn't bother in any since, as their father, to say "well are you going to have enough to get them their christmas?" You, as, always assumed that I'd take care of it! And you know what, he, he helped me out, He helped me buy groceries, he helped me get the kids Christmas. And he is in no way their father, no way connected to them other than knowing and careing for them through me! He didn't have to, but he did, b/c he didn't want to see them go without! Then after that he was the one here for me to talk to after you screamed in my face christmas night that you didn't want to be married to me anymore! He is the one who pick me up enough so I woulnd't go through a nervous breakdown! He is the one who helps me with groceries out every 2 weeks because you think that 800$ pays all my bills and leaves me enough to buy food. HA ha... you say get a job help yourself out. wtf do you think I tried to do?! we have a special needs child and no one is this freakin town wants a "special needs child" in their daycare. and when they do they want double the pay. If I went back to work it would end up putting me in the hole just for daycare! Do you stop and ask me "do you need any help this pay?"
you 2 EssieDotCom: No, not until recently, when I brought it to your attention that I didn't even have enough money to get our son a birthday cake. HE bought his cake, he took him to chuckie cheese for his birthday. He did not have to do that, he is not connected to these children in any other way than caring for them out of the goodness of his heart! Easter this year, remember that? yeah you were home in SC, snugg as a bug in your lil military world. You called her but not once did you say "are you going to have enough money to supply the kids with their easter baskets?" you didn't even ask, once again you assumed I'd take care of it! He bought them their easter baskets! Once again he is not obligated by any force of nature to do so. This year b4 school started, remember that? I asked you to help me out with the kids school stuff, and you sent me 100$ thinking that was going to be enough. Yeah okay what kid and what outfit was that for? You should know better; you are not a stupid man! He bought them their school clothes, he bought their school supplies they needed to start out. Once again was not obligated to do anything for them, other than caring for them and not wanting them to go without. Yeah, I give you the credit the next pay day you asked me if I needed any more to get them school stuff, a week and half after they'd started school. You had money, you aren't fooling me, you told me you were saving money to buy yourself a new car when you get off this deployment. Which makes me wonder what is more important to you, you're children going without or your new car. You say you want to work on our marriage; but have you stopped this entire year to take a look at the way you are doing things for our children? Have you noticed that since you left for this 6 month deployment that you called here 5 times, and once when the kids were here, so you actually got to talk to them. You've written the kids 2 letters, and one for me. You've sent cold and emotionless emails enough....those are just words, I can read anything into those I want, but that doesnt make it so. You've sent one package for D's birthday. YOu said you sent me flowers on my birthday that somehow never got here! Knowing full well what it meant to me, you tell me what I wanted to hear, and figuared that was enough to keep me hooked. You are suppose to be mailing out a gift for our oldest childs birthday here next week, but we haven't gotten anything yet. You say you love us with all of your heart, but it seems to be when it's convient for you to love us around your life and your career in the navy. You use the ship you're on as an excuse and say to me those are just words and I woulnd't understand unless I was there; you say that bc you know I can't be there.. and there is no way of me finding out that you are full of yourself! Let other men aboard your ship.. I bet they do what they need to do to keep in tough with their wives and children; I bet they do what they need to do to take care of their families. All I ever wanted is for you to spend enough time, care, and cocern on us as you do at work. Not because you want to, with work, but because you have to. Because you chose to make the decision to stay in, even though I told you I felt that another 8 yrs would really mess with our relationship. I can not change that now, nor can you. I tried at the time, but you insisted it was all you had. I understand why you thought that, but I also know better. If you want me to shut up, maybe you need to be more of a man, and cover your words with some action that matches it!
Re: you 1 sheydp: So... once I again I ask you, honey... what are you going to DO? Your heart and mind have to find a way to agree, so you can get some action going...
(((((HUGS)))))
Shey
