Re: mornings are the worst AMG: It really is hard to feel what I am feeling. I cry so hard I feel my lungs are literally going to explode. It feel like it will never end...
And he is ok, that is the worse part. He isnt rolled up on the floor bawling like a little baby.
I feel so so so bad. I really havent had a "good" moment yet. Is that ok? He was my world, he really was. I didnt realize how much I relied on him, and I always had him in my thoughts... I feel totally abadoned. I dont think getting shot through the head would hurt any worse than this.
Re: mornings are the worst LSpr11: Right now I find only 2 things in life that make me happy. That is being with my 3 children (even though they drive me crazy sometimes) and snuggling with at night and #2 GOD! I have turned to him as soon as my STBX left and he has given me the strength to get this far. Before him I was suicidal and didn't know how I could make it another day. He has given me faith that he will lead me through this and he does have better plans for me. That is the only way I can half way function at this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: mornings are the worst Feel: [quote author=AMG link=topic=35535.msg376700#msg376700 date=1159883643">
It really is hard to feel what I am feeling. I cry so hard I feel my lungs are literally going to explode. It feel like it will never end...
And he is ok, that is the worse part. He isnt rolled up on the floor bawling like a little baby.
I feel so so so bad. I really havent had a "good" moment yet. Is that ok? He was my world, he really was. I didnt realize how much I relied on him, and I always had him in my thoughts... I feel totally abadoned. I dont think getting shot through the head would hurt any worse than this.
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That's what they live off of and feel so proud about... the fact that we depended on them for something or other and when they feel that they are losing you they come back and make you have the dependance on them again. You ahve to stay strong, you ahve to find something else that keep you at least occupied for a 1/2 hour... to cealr your mind and that helps a lot... YOu cry so mauch taht your eyes burn and you can't see out of them...
Everywhere you go anything you see reminds you of him and you start to cry.
You want to know what I did... Anything that reminded me of him, I went back to and gave myself a new remembrance. If you have a friend or someone asks you to go out... even if you talk about him the whole time go do something there that you always wanted to do and give yourself a new memory of it... You'll see you will look back and laugh about it.
I'll tell you a little story... My NM had ticket to the LEAF game at the ACC Centr ein Toronto, well my X loved hockey so much he even plays it loyally (to bad it wasn't me he played loyally (lol)) anyway I went with him to the game and on the way there it was poring the rain soaked us but the best part was we were standing to cross the road and he was behind a partial wall, for some reason... (i am already laughing ;D :D) and a car in passing went through a puddle... I was drentched.... I couldn't stop laughing. he wasn't sure to laugh or not.... But NOW that I had a new memory with him there, regardless if we are still together or not, it something new with someone else and mot my EX and I don't have to miss that.
I want to help you in any way that I can.... It's a good thing you don't have children!
I ma here Pm me when you like! :)
Re: mornings are the worst mylevelbest: I know what you mean, AMG. Every day I wake up feeling at peace and then it hits me that things are not as they should be. It hits me hard and somedays its dificult to get out of bed. Other days I jump out like I've seen a ghost under the covers.
It feels like the reverse of when you are traveling and you wake up in a strange room and feel a moment of panic until you realize where you are and that things are OK. It is waking up in a familiar room and realizing that you don't know where you are, and things are far from OK.
Almost sounds like a fortune cookie, eh? But I hate that feeling, probably most of all, because it is totally of my control. Kind of comforting to know others feel the same. I guess we are all the same type of creatures.
I wonder if waking up to an alarm that plays music would help? Something distracting and different than the cell phone or alarms I used when the other person was around. I'll try that out.
Re: mornings are the worst Fjord Girl: Definitely. Mornings were the most difficult moment of my day when all this started. Hang in there, you're not alone. Do you feel a little bit better as the day goes by? I did. Patience!
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