thinking of the future... shpek: Hey everyone,
Since we're all going through similiar situations about breaking up/separation etc... Well, its been 3 months since my X left. I am a little better as far as being so depressed etc. but i do find myslef feeling lonley - life's a bit empty. I thik alot about how I am ever going to meet someone (the right one) being 36 and not into the bar scene. I try to have faith/hope but its really hard.
I was just wondering how some of you are handling this and what thoughts run through your head. I'm sure i'm not alone here. I just feel sad having no one in my life anymore when i so much want to settle down and share a life with someone.
Thanks
Re: thinking of the future... thejoker: Just my thoughts:
I felt like you do, my life was empty. But it wasn't.
If you define your life by your significant other you will never truly be happy.
When married, yes it should be a partnership and loving, caring supportive situation.
But your life is YOUR life. You need to find your definition and your place in the world. Through work, through hobbies, through friends and family.
Maybe it's just easier for me but I cannot be defined by someone else. I am me. I think you need to find out who you are by yourself.
Re: thinking of the future... drowned: The joker brings up some good points.
I have found out that if you actively look for someone you may never meet that one person you may possibly share a life with. That may not be true in all cases but for me I can attest to stating that. Life works in mysterious ways, and when you met one person out of the blue "that magical lift may bring you just what you are looking for" ;)
Being patient is the about the extent of advice I can give you.....
drowned
Re: thinking of the future... broken_saint: A few months after when this "NEW" life for me began, i joined a gym. since then i've been going every night after work. i get off at 6pm from work. i go home for a couple hours, check emails, bills, read ojar, eat, relax, play with my dog, then i'll get changed and head over to the gym around 9'ish and i don't finish till about 11pm. a couple times a week, after the gym, i'll head over to blockbusters and i'll pick up a movie (i'm a big horror fan). so then i come home and shower. pick out / iron my clothes. walk my dog and head to bed with a movie =)
the gym helped out ALOT, i started doing so much cardio and believe it or not, i started to feel a hell of alot better. there's something about raising the endorphine levels in ur body that helps the depression etc.
anyhow, that's a typical night for me and that's how i kept myself busy. i know it sounds like a losers type of schedule but hey it works and recommend it... i do have my friends and make time for them as much as i can. i even talked a few of them into joining the gym with me and thankfully we all go at the same time. on some weekends, i go out with them, usually big events like concerts etc. but i get involved with them and help plan alot of "fun" activities. halloween is this month for me, and so every weekend i have something planned out for us to do... like going to the screampark at the Wachovia center or the Eastern State Penitentiary in PA ..
do things to keep busy, make a schedule ... invest in things like "the gym" or home equiptment. build something, start a new hobbie. stimulate ur mind! being alone ... yes sux. we all dread the thought of it as we get older. however, right now. it's YOUR time. your cuts are still fresh and need some healing. take your time.
my advice: don't look for sanctuary in anyone but yourself.
hope that helps =)
Re: thinking of the future... shpek: Hey Everyone,
Good advice. Joker, dont get me worng... I'm not trying to define my life by a significant other. It's just I am still healing and being a bit older i really feel the emptiness. I though by my age I would be married or at least be in a serious/long term relationship. But I'm back to square 1.
broken saint,
I have started going back to the gym too. I was working out all the time but I got so depressed and unmotivated that I didnt have the energy to care about working out. So I am getting back to that. I'm also in a band (play drums) and have been doing that as well. My heart hasn't been inito it as it usually is but I feel like i'm getting a little bit better. sometimes, and i know this is stupid, but i feel like a loser... because at this age i should be/want to be in a serious relationship. i know thats dumb and am aware of it but i think you understand where i'm coming from.
drowned,
I agree it happens when you're not looking for it. thats how i met my x, out of the blue, but unfortunately that didnt work out. again, i'm still healing and thats why i am where i am i think. it's no joke putting yourself back together from something you didnt want to end.
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